xo, alix

alix lynx, unhinged

Archives for May 22, 2020

PERSPECTIVE IS A CHOICE (PT 2)

 

 

 

Here’s the thing when it comes to life…

It’s ALL in perspective. And perspective is and always will be 100% a choice. 

You can ALWAYS choose to shift your perspective. EVEN if you’re surrounded by people who don’t share the same beliefs (although it will be more difficult). EVEN if you’re the odd one out. It doesn’t matter. 

I’d rather be the odd one out than choose to bring everyone down into my drama which never solves a damn thing. 

It takes very little (if any at all) effort to be negative. 

But to CHOOSE to see a silver lining in EVERY situation? Choosing to THINK before reactively lashing back? That, my friend, takes some MAJOR commitment. That takes some SERIOUS effort. 

But, just like in a workout, it’s a muscle that you gotta practice using every single day. Little by little, moment by moment. And every single day, it becomes stronger and more resilient.

And then, as if suddenly, you just flow into a default state of seeing the important life lessons in every single situation. It becomes second nature. It becomes a natural part of your being.

You rise ABOVE the drama, the blaming and the anger. 

You’re able to see the situation from almost a third-party perspective and reflect on what you learned from it and how you can apply this lesson to your life going forward. 

You’re able to roll with the punches and go with the flow, and not freak out every time something in your schedule changes to inconvenience you. 

This skill, my friend, will take you FAR in life. It’s something that many people cannot and do not bother to do. If you can master this, your life will become FAR less stressful. 

Not because there will be far less stressful situations happening, because, well, LIFE. 

 

 

It’s because you’ll be able to see each stressful, scary, weird situation as something happening to teach you a valuable lesson. You’ll be able to be comfortable feeling and processing your feelings, but not being completely consumed by them. 

Calm is a superpower and a choice. Changing your perspective is a superpower and a choice. 

I’m not saying that life is all rainbows and sunshine all the time. Even for an optimistic person like myself. But what I am saying is that you do have what it takes in you to reframe even the shittiest of situations and spin it into something positive. 

I’m also saying that the state of my life in ALL areas…I’m talking confidence, relationships, financials, mental health…only got better (and continues to do so) by shifting gears and adopting this mindset.

I think this is evident to anyone who’s been following me for a few years now. So if nothing else, let me be living, breathing proof to you that this shit actually works.

Because I’ve been on the other side of it. In fact, I existed on the other side of it for the majority of my life thus far.

So the next time something annoying happens to you, like IDK…maybe you’re told you have to remain inside for another couple of months while the entire world continues to battle a pandemic, you COULD take the opportunity to complain about how unfair things are and how bored you are. 

Or you COULD INSTEAD take it as an opportunity to understand how fortunate you are to be able to enjoy the small pleasures in life, like cooking a meal or taking your dog out to play.

Like seeing this time at home as an opportunity to finally build that side hustle you’ve been talking about for ages, taking up a new hobby, or connecting with friends that you’ve been too busy to catch up with. 

Perspective is ALWAYS a choice. 

 

xo, al

THE MAGIC IS IN CHOOSING NOW (PT 2)

 

 

 

Ok so, story time. 

For me, during the holiday season this past year, I made a bunch of teeny tiny little choices involving Grandma’s cookies, assorted candy and big home-cooked meals. Every single day. For a month. 

So it was really no surprise when I woke up one day and realized that my pants were tight AF. I took a good look in the mirror and realized that I had added just a bit of fluff to my small bod. Holiday bulk, baby! 

So I decided that, instead of beating myself up, I would choose to have a handful of grapes after dinner instead of 2 cookies, if I were craving something sweet, day after day. 

I decided that I would, every moment I felt hunger pangs, drink water first and wait ten minutes before eating to make sure I was truly hungry and not just dehydrated. 

I decided that I would remove the bowl of cereal I had been snacking on every night before bed from the equation.

ONE. DAY. AT. A. TIME. 

So it was also no surprise to me that, 2 weeks later, I realized that the holiday fluff had lessened tremendously. 

I decided on what I wanted. I chose to be present with every single moment and every single decision I made.

And all of those teeny tiny decisions gained momentum from one another, eventually leading up to the big change I was seeking.

But instead of keeping my eyes on (and becoming all-consumed by) the prize, AKA “I’ll allow myself to feel less self-conscious when I get rid of this extra fluff on my stomach,” I decided to make the healthiest choices I possibly could and take the best care of myself I possibly could, doing the best I can with every moment, knowing that being present with the process would eventually lead to my destination. 

All it takes is a simple shift of perspective. You know the saying that goes something along the lines of, “It’s about the journey, not the destination?”

It’s fucking true. 

And yeah, the destination is always fabulous, too. There are few greater feelings in life than FINALLY reaching what you’ve worked so long and hard to reach.

When you get there, please do celebrate. Make sure to take time to honor yourself and all the hard work you’ve put in and all that you’ve accomplished. 

In fact, make that a priority. You SHOULD celebrate all your achievements! 

But you should also never discredit the importance of the journey. If you’re anything like me, you tend to want to hit “fast forward” and your default mode is to get into that hyper-focused space where you WILL get to be happy…as long as you work hard for it. 

Let me tell you, that way of thinking is ass backwards and untrue. TRUST ME, BECAUSE I LIVED MY LIFE THAT WAY FOR 28 YEARS. I know a thing or two about this. 

True joy is not somewhere far off into the future. It’s in the now. All you have is RIGHT NOW. 

And truth be told, you don’t even know for sure how long your “NOW” will last. None of us do. 

Wouldn’t you rather find happiness and comfort where you are? As in, LIVE your life?

And if you’re not happy and comfortable where you are in life, that’s fine. That means you’re being guided in the direction where you WILL be happy and comfortable.

That also means that you’ve got to CHOOSE every single day to find ways to be a better version of yourself; to celebrate your achievements; to move steps closer to your goals while enjoying how far you’ve come and how much you’re learning. 

Like, if you want to get rich, you’re not going to wake up tomorrow having learned how to do so through magical dreamland osmosis. It means you’re going to have to DECIDE that that’s your priority and COMMIT yourself to learning about how to make and keep and invest money every single day.

You have to choose that RIGHT NOW you are going to do the best you can and listen to that hour long personal finance podcast. Let’s say you do that for a month straight. That’s 30 hours of financial knowledge you just gained. 

ALL THAT ACTION ADDS UP. (AS LONG AS YOU ACT ON IT). 

FROM BEING PRESENT WHERE YOU ARE. 

MOMENT. TO. MOMENT. 

 

 

All the little moments in life? They’re the big moments. They all matter. Every choice you make. It ALL adds up. 

Choose to be miserable until you’re happy and you will never TRULY be happy. 

It’s not a switch you can (or SHOULD) flip. 

The way to GET to your destination is by BEING PRESENT WHERE YOU ARE and making the best choices you possibly can in this exact moment. 

The true magic in life, where all your best creations and ideas come forth? Those happen when you choose to BE where you are. It all flows. 

It’s not supposed to be hard. We’re not supposed to struggle and be miserable 24/7. What kind of a life is that? 

One that’s un-lived. 

What you focus on in life expands. If you focus on being the happiest version of you, your reality will construct itself in ways that will give you opportunities to be happy.

If you focus on how broke you are, your reality will construct itself in ways that will prove your belief that you are, indeed, broke AF.

It’s all there all the time. There’s just SO much going on around us at all times that it’s literally impossible to focus on ALL of it at once. So we see what we want to see.

We notice what we’re thinking about most often. That’s why it’s SO important to be aware of your thoughts, and understanding that just because some may be bad or wrong or negative doesn’t make them true.

They’re just thoughts.

Be aware, but only get hyper-fixated on the ones that serve you. Make this a daily practice. Integrate it into your life.

This is some real shit. 

Choose your thoughts, perspectives and actions wisely. It all matters. 

Know and understand that wherever you are right this very moment is exactly where you’re supposed to be. Choose to be present with this reality and focus on what you can do right NOW that will get you even one step closer to where you want to go.

Choose to focus on what you can do right NOW that will boost your mood, and go do that.

Choice by choice made in each present moment

Day by day, it all adds up.

 

  xo, al