xo, alix

alix lynx, unhinged

Archives for May 28, 2020

SCARY STORIES TO TELL BEFORE BED: THE GUY WHO BEAT HIS MEAT ON THE HIGHWAY

 

 

Once upon a time, there was a man called Daniel. Daniel was in his early 40’s, lived in San Francisco, worked in a fancy finance office and wore a suit to work every day. Daniel also loved to spend many an afternoon at the office with his door locked.

What sketchy tomfoolery was Daniel up to while he was on the clock, might you ask?

Daniel may have been a boss, but that didn’t mean he followed all the rules. In fact, Daniel liked to live on the edge. Because if he didn’t, why would he lock his office door every afternoon and lower his voice?

In fact, Daniel’s fancy job could have vanished in an instant, had his boss known what he was doing behind closed doors. 

Daniel was indulging in one of his favorite vices: Cam girls. 

Specifically, me. 

On the other side of his webcam, I sat, fully clothed in a red lace teddy and matching bathrobe, while Daniel…well, let’s just say he wasn’t wearing pants. 

While this charade was going down, Daniel would also, with a full force that was palpable from across the computer screen (but somehow still super quiet) tell me in full detail of his ultimate fantasy: 

He wanted to take me to dinner at a gorgeous 5 star restaurant. At this fantasy dinner, he wanted me to wear a TINY microdress suitable for a strip club and 7 inch heels.

He would go on to tell me how much he adored “bimbo” girls who dressed like that in public, and how that dinner would just be THE SLUTTIEST DINNER EVER. 

LITERALLY those words. 

So I would basically repeat over and over again, during our 20ish minute cam sessions, how “UNBELIEVABLY SLUTTY THIS DINNER WOULD BE.”

In fact, it would be the SLUTTIEST, KINKIEST DINNER MAN HAS EVER KNOWN. 

The more I said, “slutty dinner,” the more he would beg me to say it again. 

So I’d continue to tell him “HOW SLUTTY MY DRESS WAS AND HOW MUCH OF A BIMBO I AM AND HOW UNBELIEVABLY SLUTTY THIS DINNER WAS. BY FAR THE SLUTTIEST DINNER I’VE EVER HAD!”

At which he would finish the task at hand.

All over his keyboard. 

The last time I ever heard from Daniel?

He called me to inform me he was driving his new sports car down the coast, on his way to a nice dinner (I wondered if it was a slutty one). 

But that wasn’t all. 

On his way to dinner, while driving his new whip, Daniel was also…driving his new whip. 

As in, beating his meat. 

While he was going 70MPH down a major highway. 

And of course he wanted to get ME on the phone so I could have a front row seat to…

that (????) 

So, I spent the duration of his journey to the dinner (I was REAL curious as to who this man hung out with in real life) on the phone with Daniel, yelling at how “UNBELIEVABLY SLUTTY HIS DINNER WOULD BE AND HOW IT BETTER NOT BE SLUTTIER THAN THE FANTASY DINNER I WOULD HAVE WITH HIM LATER BECAUSE I WOULD BE UPSET.”

I’m assuming Daniel got his rocks off, because eventually I heard a click.

And then I never heard from him again. 

I hope he at least made it to that dinner. 

welp. 

 

xo, al 

 

SCARY STORIES TO TELL BEFORE BED: THE GUY WHO JUST WANTED TO TALK AND THEN I WROTE HIS COLLEGE THESIS

 

K so before I even get IN to this, I will preface this story with some key points. 

Being a small screen queen means I’m a fantasy and I bring fantasies to life. ALL kinds of fantasies. Feet, costumes, roleplay…you name it, I’ve done it. 

But sometimes being a small screen queen also means being a compassionate, listening ear to talk to when things get lonely or tough. I have plenty of fabulous members who I chat with on the daily on my website about life. It’s actually super duper common.

Updates about their family, their promotion at work, how they’re going through a rough patch with their best friend. Oh, I hear it ALL.

And I’m happy to do so! It’s nice to know I’m helping someone get through a tough time. 

So all that said, even back when I was a webcam model, I encountered a whole lot of “just wanting to talk-ers.” 

This one fella, however, took this particular category to a whole new level.

Brandon was a foreign student from China; a senior at a prestigious Ivy League school on the east coast. He was the quiet, shy, nerdy type, and a real friendly person. He had friends, but was also an introvert who enjoyed his alone time.

Hmm, sounds familiar. 

Anywho, Brandon was a super duper tipper in my public chat room on My Free Cams, the site I was on. One day, he PM’ed me and asked if I would be down for a Skype session. I’m thinking it would be 10 minutes.

But nope, he wanted two hours. 

TWO. HOURS. 

Of course, being the virtual stripper (of sorts) that I was, I automatically assumed he would want two hours of an adult-oriented show. Which is a LONG fucking time, P.S.

Like I said, my Skype shows are usually MAXIMUM of ten minutes. I also thought he was fucking with me. 

But nope, he wanted two hours. For real. And he also wanted to…just talk. 

Literally. So he Paypaled me my Skype rate and we talked. On Skype. For two hours. 

He was super interesting and cool. We had MANY an intelligent conversation…political debates, literature recommendations, business tips were exchanged…

Brandon went on to buy 2 hours of chat time with me around 4 times a week for a month. 

Which is, like, a LOT of time. And also a nice paycheck for me 😀

One day during one of our chats, Brandon approached me with a proposal. 

I LOVE writing (which he was well aware of after all our time spent talking). English was not his first language and he was incredibly self-conscious of the way he spoke and wrote. 

Brandon had his senior thesis deadline approaching in the next two months. 

This paper was a really big fucking deal. Like, he had to turn it in AND get a phenomenal score – this was a deciding factor as to whether he would get into his grad school of choice. 

And he wanted me to write it. 

His proposal was that he would pay me a few thou(sand). Dollars. 

And buy me a new Mac desktop computer. 

Now, please keep in mind that I have my BA in Broadcast Journalism. I’m a writer. I’m a nerd. I love to do research. I went to school to write and communicate.

So as far as I’m concerned, Brandon was doing himself a huge favor by bringing me in to this operation. 

And yes, I spent the next couple days of my life holed up in my tiny Hollywood apartment, busting out this thesis masterpiece.

Don’t get it twisted: this shit was a BEAST to write. I was cranky. I was sweating. I was cursing. But I fucking DID IT. 

Brandon followed through with his word on both accords. I got a paycheck and a computer.

He got an A.

And that’s the story of how one young promising fine lad had his college thesis written…

…by a motherfucking porn star. 

Isn’t life just a trip?

 

xo, alix

 

SCARY STORIES TO TELL BEFORE BED: THE GUY WHO SWALLOWED EVERYTHING

 

Let me just start off by saying something here. I’ve heard it all. I’ve seen it all. At this point in my life there are very few things that can phase me.

Like, there are the types of people where ONE mention of a fucking NIPPLE offends them to no end.

Then there’s me.

Like, I’ve been exposed to every obscure fetish; every kink from the deepest crevice of Reddit; every sex-related confession I’ve heard from one of my friends -and sometimes just a random human –

(side note: there’s something about being an adult entertainer that makes people comfortable enough to let their guard down pretty quickly and confess their deepest darkest secrets to me, like, instantly. My theory is that if I’m willing to live my life in such a traditionally taboo way, then I must be nonjudgmental. Which is true). 

Maybe someday I’ll start charging hourly for my therapy sessions. I kid, I kid.

Anyways.

I wasn’t always like this, though. Like, you gotta start SOMEWHERE, right?! 

This fine internet man is one of those SOMEWHERES responsible for introducing me to a whole NEW realm of what it means to a certified freak. 

It’s circa 2013. It’s summertime in suburbia in New York. The windows are open and I feel a warm breeze coming in. Quite nice. It’s around 8PM.

I’m winding down my public chat on My Free Cams and about to go into accepting “Privates.” In Cam Land, there are plenty of ways to go about running your time on cam.

One of the most popular, and the way I rolled back then (and still do) is to dedicate a few hours to your room (AKA your public chat) encouraging tips from members, usually with some kind of a themed countdown show.

When that time is up, you move on to accept “Privates,” which means private 1 on 1 time that members pay for with you.

Usually I don’t even see the other person, so it’s like talking to a computer screen, but this particular evening had much more in store for me. 

This guy was a new member but I had seen him hanging in my room for a couple weeks, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. Prior to the private, he had asked if I did “JOI fantasy” which basically means a dirty talking narrative to the dude as to how to beat his meat. Duh.

That’s like, the most common kink in Cam Land. Same with porn.

He also asked if I did “Femdom stuff.” While I’m not a domme by any means, I AM a kickass actress and love to channel my inner bitch and play a different character. Like, how fun. 

So when I logged on for our private sesh, I was surprised he had his camera on. Fine. Like I said, it’s a rarity but I never think anything of it. This guy was, like, 250 lbs and pretty short.

He was what looked like mid-thirties with a fresh dark brown bowl cut and was sitting shirtless in baby blue cotton boxers  in what looked like a fucking basement. Mom’s basement? We’ll never know. 

He instantly was all, “Tell me how worthless I am and how pathetic my virgin cock is.”

Sometimes in these moments (yes, this happens frequently too) I never know if they’re actually a virgin or if this is just the fantasy. But I don’t ask questions. I’m here to fulfill fantasies! 

So of course I went OFF. 

“YOU’RE THE BIGGEST PIECE OF SHIT FAT FUCKING SHRIMP DICK LOSER I’VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE. YOU’RE SO WORTHLESS YOU HAVE TO PAY ME TO TELL YOU HOW TO JERK YOUR PATHETIC DICK BECAUSE YOU CAN’T GET A REAL WOMAN TO DO IT.”

Now some Karens may be all, “OMFGGGG THAT’S SO MEAN HOW CAN YOU DO THAT?!?”

Karen, this is Fantasy Land. He is a grown ass, consenting man. I am a grown ass, consenting woman.

I am also a professional. He also signed up for this. Like, trust me.

HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE’S GETTING INTO. THEY ALL DO. HE FUCKING LIKES IT. 

And if you know me to any degree, you know that this is me playing a character. Alix IRL is like, super fucking chill and levelheaded like a small blonde velour tracksuit-wearing zen master of sorts. 

I kept going. And going. And going. REAMING this guy a new asshole. 

And of course he was LOVING IT. 

So when it came down to the finish line (I can just tell, ya know?!) I told him to get ready and…

All of a sudden he stops what he’s doing and in roughly 1/20 of a second pulls some ninja shit and ROLLS BACKWARDS (but on his side so I could see the full profile of what’s happening), RAISES HIS LEGS OVER HIS FACE…

And while I’m over here still trying to figure out what the ACTUAL FUCK this man is doing…

He blows his load. 

IN HIS MOTHERFUCKING OPEN MOUTH. 

And THEN like it ain’t no thang, proceeds to hold his hands up to the camera to proudly show me that he had eaten the whole entire mess. 

ALL THE FROSTING OFF THE FUCKING CAKE. 

…then promptly said, “THANKS HAD FUN!” And logged off. 

…Leaving me sitting there in front of a black screen (kinda like when you watch too much Netflix and it asks “Are you still watching?”)

…wondering what the FUCK just happened. 

And that, my friends, was my first ever experience with CEI. 

I’ll let you figure out what it stands for. 

While I wouldn’t bat an eye if I encountered this…situation…nowadays…

I’m QUITE certain I went to bed without dinner that night. I just didn’t seem to be able to find my appetite. 

 

xo, alix