xo, alix

alix lynx, unhinged

Archives for June 1, 2020

How to Live the Life You WANT

 

Something that’s really cool:

Every one of us is a blank slate…and the kicker is, every one of us is a blank slate ALL THE TIME.

Like, I could wake up tomorrow and decide that I’m done filming adult videos forever and that I’m going move to upstate New York and become a wellness coach and also have an alpaca farm. 

Don’t worry, I’m not quite there yet 😉 

We all have more control over our lives than we think. 

In fact, each of us has precisely 100% control over our own lives. 

Terrifying, yet liberating, isn’t it?

I also firmly believe that humans tend to make things astronomically more complicated than they need to be. I still catch myself doing this!

So, let’s look at a real life example of living the life we want. 

When I was laid off from my job at the PR firm I was working at in 2011-2012 (pre-porn), I immediately decided that I would no longer be available to work a job that required me to report to an office, nor would I be available to work a job that required me to work 9-5 during the week. 

I decided I wanted to be my own boss because I absofuckinglutely cannot work for anybody, along with have control over my schedule as well as flexibility and the ability to be able to work from anywhere. 

So when I started to search for work, I only searched for jobs I could do from home with flexible hours, thus weeding out sending my resume to any company that would want me to report there M-F, 9-5…big fat fuck that. 

So basically I DECIDED and set the paradigms on what I wanted and how I wanted things to be, and arranged my life around that. 

See? EASY. 

Of course, you have to actually take action. Which is often the hardest part. But what’s the other option? Living a life that’s just “meh” because you’re lazy? Come on. 

Even when it came to moving to LA. I was born and raised in NY. I lived there for 25 years. It’s my home. 

But I had ALWAYS wanted to live in LA. I can’t explain it. I just felt this pull. I couldn’t stop thinking about moving there, even as a high schooler, plastering my walls with pictures of the PCH and Rodeo Drive. 

So one day when I was 25, which is what felt like a milestone point in my life, I decided that I was only going to be fooling myself if I continued to live in NY and not even at least SEE what it would be like to live in LA. 

To me, regret has always been something I’ve steered clear of. To me, nothing is worse than eternally wondering what could have been. 

So I broke down all the steps I would need to take to uproot my life. Every detail from where I would want to live to how I would afford it. 

And I just went for it. EVEN THOUGH most people in my life back then were telling me I was crazy and that it would never work. 

I still live here, 6 years later. 

You literally just gotta figure out what you want to do and then fucking do it. The key is to keep going even when shit gets hard.

And deep down…you already know. 

And BTW, there’s no perfect time for anything. It’s like…if you want your life to feel a certain way and look a certain way, you HAVE to decide EXACTLY what that will be for you. 

Then come up with a plan as to how you’ll get there. 

Then take the leap. 

There will be bumps. There will be hurdles. There will be a LOT of unknown. 

But you’ve just got to trust yourself enough to know that you’ll figure it out.

You can do it. 

 

xo, al

Trust Me, You Matter

 

 

I was chatting with a family friend of mine last week who is not only a really bright teacher and has a whole lot of intelligent, thought-provoking opinions on important world issues, but is also a super duper passionate human being.

So when I asked her why she only shared this side of her with her friends and not to a bigger audience (aka on social media), her reply had me floored. 

She said she didn’t “have enough followers online for any of it to matter.”

OK, talk about heartbreaking. 

(Don’t worry, her mind has since changed after I expressed MY opinion on this statement). 

Which is essentially this: 

Just because you don’t have a massive following on social media does NOT mean that you don’t have anything valid or important to say or share. PERIOD. 

I’m not referring to Susan and Chad who have shit to complain about on social media all day every day and play the victim of their own lives because somebody at Starbucks looked at them funny or they had to wait in line an extra 5 minutes to return their coffee maker at Target. 

I’m talking about good-intentioned people who want to see the world a better place and are passionate about being the best they can be, elevating others around them and are ultimately just advocates for positivity, all-inclusiveness and creating long-lasting change for the world. 

Who don’t feel like what they have to say or share even matters because other people exist on this planet who have much bigger interest and engagement…so what’s the point?

That’s like saying The Office already exists so what’s the point of any other funny TV show.

Rest assured, EVERYONE MATTERS. 

Even if you work at Dunder-Mifflin. 

Anything and everything that you can do in order to help educate, inform and overall HELP others...MATTERS. 

Even if you don’t have an Instagram and all you have are 80 Facebook friends. 

That’s 80 people you can share a piece of positive, uplifting, informative and/or all of the above content with. 80 people whose lives you can impact POSITIVELY upon simply reading a post you type up in a few minutes.

Hell, even if 20 people see it. Then 2 of those 20 people share your message. Then a handful of THEIR friends share your message. 

EVERYTHING has a ripple effect. 

NEVER, EVER doubt your ability to have impact and invoke change. 

NEVER, EVER doubt the power of your voice and using it for good. 

NEVER, EVER doubt how important and needed you are. 

Speak up. Be passionate. Be yourself. Share and say and create what you feel the need to in its own imperfectly perfect human form.

It doesn’t have to be perfect, in fact. It just has to be YOU. 

And that’s enough. 

 

xo, al