xo, alix

alix lynx, unhinged

The Top 5 Life Lessons I Learned from Doing Porn

 

 

Whether you’ve been following me for one month or one year or longer, you likely know that I have MAJOR beef with the way the porn industry is often portrayed in mainstream media. Clickbait titles that start with “Former Porn Star______” or “Porn Star ______” telling stories of scandals and shady shit galore, often completely out of touch with how the industry ACTUALLY is. (Which, frankly, is relatively mundane in the day to day, but I won’t ruin the fantasy here) ;}

I have my BA in Broadcast Journalism. One of the first lessons I learned in college was that the news doesn’t report on good shit, because nobody would want to hear about it, and therefore nobody in the biz would make money. This is also why I heavily limit my consumption of news as a whole, and only get mine from select sources I deem reliable. So the moral of this story here is, it’s a good idea to learn how to think critically, and for yourself. But I’ll save that for another post.

Anyways.

The reason why I bring this up is because I’ll forever be an advocate for the adult entertainment industry, and sex workers, no matter where my life takes me. Certainly, different people have different experiences in the adult biz. It attracts ALL kinds of people from ALL walks of life, and everyone has their own reasons for joining. I absolutely do NOT discredit anyone who hasn’t had a good experience in the ‘biz. All I can do, however, is share my own experiences that I’ve lived, from my own point of view.

It should also be noted here that every single business industry on earth is comprised of all kinds of different people, and it’s weird as fuck to me that people are judge-y towards sex workers as a whole, but if one teacher, for example, gets in trouble for doing shady shit, people don’t stigmatize ALL teachers on earth because of it. See what I’m saying?

Again, different time, different post. With that, here’s some of the REALLY JUICY SHIT that I learned from doing porn.

 

1. Lots of people are into freaky shit.

When I use the term “freaky” here, I just mean not traditionally vanilla. There are TONS of fetishes and kinks that exist that, as a pretty vanilla person, I never even knew about till I became a webcam model. Nose and neck fetishes, pegging, nipple-licking, tickle fetishes, cuckholding…the list goes on for all of eternity. One of the most common questions I get pertaining to different kinks/fetishes is, “Am I normal?” to which the answer is almost always YES.

As long as you’re not harming anyone or doing anything illegal, nor is your freaky side actually interfering with your day-to-day life, then fucking ENJOY it! Life is meant to be lived, and sex is JUST as normal as the need to eat and sleep.

The fact of the matter is that if there is a higher power, I can promise you I know this much: Nobody gives a fuck in this life or the next as to what you enjoy sexually here on earth. Again, speaking from a place of you’re not doing anything illegal and your x-rated activities aren’t fucking up other stuff in your life.

Bubble burst!

It’s not the place of any one human (or many) to dictate or judge how other grown adults should live their lives, no matter what anyone says. That’s just some made up fuckery from centuries ago that humans started so they could have power and control over others. So the moral of this story here is: Get your fucking freak on and put your blinders ALL THE WAY UP to anyone with a “holier than though” attitude when it comes to sex. You’re welcome.

 

2. Porn sex is VERY different from sex at home. 

Yes, I do wild shit on the internet, but my sex life at home is more on the vanilla and passionate end of the spectrum. And I LOVE it. The difference is that coming from the world of porn, I have a VERY open mind when it comes to sex, so I wouldn’t cringe or get weirded out if my partner wanted to do something we don’t normally do. And I would highly likely be down to give it a shot, because why the fuck not?! Life is meant to be lived!

But those wild positions you see, where women are sucking dick upside down while the guy holds their ankles, taking a hard pounding in the ass for an hour straight, the stepfamily taboo craziness…that’s reserved for the small screen (especially the latter. lol). It’s all fantasy by adult actors, for adults at home to enjoy. That’s it. Just like video games and movies you would see on the big screen.

 

3. Every adult watches porn. 

Yes, there are always exceptions to the rule. This is a super generic statement, but it’s also TRUE. I’ve had newer girls in the industry tell me they didn’t think anyone would ever find out they did porn, which is a terrible mindset to have. EVERYONE ALWAYS FINDS OUT because EVERYONE WATCHES PORN.

I’ve heard stories of women in the adult biz going out to public places, living their life and minding their own business, only to be called shit like “Slut” by other people nearby. But what would lead those people to believe that to be true? The level of fucked up of doing that to ANYONE aside…IT’S BECAUSE THEY’VE SEEN THEM IN A FUCKING PORNO. BECAUSE THEY WERE AT HOME WATCHING. *Palm in face*

The hypocrisy is so, so real. This has also led me to give absolutely zero fucks about what anyone has to say about porn, (aside from just not giving a flying fuck about what people think in general), but also because I know for damn sure the odds are, said person WATCHES PORN. Therefore, hypocrite. Therefore, someone who has seriously convoluted viewpoints and values and is not to be taken seriously, and certainly deserves NONE of my energy.

 

4. All bodies are different. 

Pre-porn, I was self-conscious of parts of my bod just like anyone else. After seeing SO many different humans (especially fellow females) in the nude, I’ve learned that mainstream beauty standards are fucking stupid and also just trends (just like fast fashion), and to NOT follow them unless I truly felt aligned with whatever enhancement I was considering. Plastic surgery is absofuckinglutely fine (lord knows I’ve had my fair share) but after spending so much time in the adult biz, and seeing SO many gorgeous women of all different shapes and sizes and body types, I’ve learned that beauty IS truly in the eye of the beholder.

Experiencing this helped me SO much in becoming confident and comfortable in my own skin, as ME. Not a weird version of someone else. And, when you’ve been naked in front of millions and millions of humans, it’s a sense of empowerment and liberation that is unexplainable. The world has seen you at your most vulnerable, and you’ve seen the truth firsthand of how real bodies of real sex symbols actually look (ALL different), you realize that just being YOU is enough. I no longer compare myself to others wishing I looked a certain way the way I used to back in the day.

 

5. The best sex is with someone you love. 

Cliché? Maybe. Cheesy? Maybe. Do I care? Please see #3. My house, my thoughts! This is what I know to be true. I’ve done some wild shit, but literally NOTHING compares to sex with someone you love and have a strong emotional connection with. The key is to be present, communicate, and find your right-for-you balance of giving and receiving. If you wanna try freaky shit, do it with someone you love. It’s WAY more fun that way.

 

What else do you want me to share about? What else do you want to know? Comment below or tweet me.

 

xo, alix

My Experience With: Adult Film Sets

 

 

 

From the outside looking in, the world of adult entertainment has an air of mystery about it, full of a WHOLE lot of preconceived notions and misconceptions about what actually goes on. Which is all understandable, because to know what it’s like to actually work in adult film is far from being common public knowledge. From my own experience with chatting with fans on social media and with “real life” friends in my social circles, I’ve heard it ALL.

Stuff like…

“I heard everyone just does drugs all day.”

“I heard everyone just bangs everyone on set.”

“I heard a lot of shady shit goes on on porn sets.”

etc.

Like I said, I GET the reason behind why there’s so much dramatic speculation around WTF actually goes down on set, because it’s not commonly discussed. I’ve been in the adult film industry since 2014, and have spent days on set COUNTLESS times over the years. Which is exactly why I’m about to break it down for you. 😉

Most sets are either someone’s house that’s been rented out for the day (it’s also super common for performers who are homeowners to rent their places out) and, on occasion, at an actual studio. (The latter is fairly rare – there are a few actual production studios that I’ve been to that are still running, but the vast majority of sets are at someone’s home).

The scenario: 

I always get the set address and call time ahead of time – the latest is the day before the scene. When I was living in LA, most of the sets were in homes in the San Fernando Valley (my personal favorite because then I wouldn’t have to deal with much of LA’s horrific traffic to get to work on time). On occasion, set locations would be in more random places like Beverly Hills and even down near Long Beach, which, if you’re not from LA, is an absolute bitch to get to if the call time is in the morning or during afternoon rush hour.

Most filming for companies is done in LA, Vegas (both of which I did often) and some in South Florida, which I’ve only done a couple of times. All of which are, still, either at someone’s home or at an actual studio.

When working for companies (which, in my world, is a REALLY special occasion nowadays because I much prefer to produce my own scenes at this point in my career) I also get the scene info ahead of time, like the script, what the scenario entails, who my scene partner is, who the director is, who to contact the day of the shoot, what wardrobe to bring, and whether or not it’s DIY hair and makeup.

So, I get to set. As soon as I arrive, I walk right on inside. I tend to be an early bird, so sometimes I’ll have to wait in my car for the director to get there. If I’m getting my hair and makeup done on set that day, I’ll be meeting the makeup artist first. So, I’ll go inside, get my suitcase and belongings situated in a private changing room, throw my slippers on (I LOVE to be cozy) and go park my booty in the makeup chair to get glammed up.

Most of the time, the locations that are people’s homes are really fucking nice and I certainly have NO problem chillin at a gorgeous home all day. On a more far and few between occasion (like, super rare) the shoot house is a bit of a shithole. In that case, just like any other job, I’ve got my professional (theoretical, since this is porn) pants on. I do my job, do it well, GTFO and likely not work there again. lol.

So, makeup. I’ll sit in the makeup chair and get glammed. While this is happening, the crew will start to trickle in. I’ll typically be handed paperwork to fill out, which happens on every set, while I’m getting my makeup done. Efficient AF. Once all the paperwork stuff has been handled and I’m glammed up, I go say hi to the crew and whatever other talent is there.

Goofing off in between takes with Angela White and Silvia Sage, on set for Girlsway!

The industry is small, so it’s a vibe of everyone knowing everyone. Just like any other profession, the people involved with the production, from the makeup artist to the PA to the director, etc. (crews these days are pretty small as well, P.S. It’s usually 2-3 people, maximum, in charge of the operation) are, well, real fucking people. Many have spouses and kids of their own. So, just like any other job where people are comfortable with one another, we shoot the shit and catch up for a bit before it’s time to get to work.

If there’s another talent who I haven’t yet met/worked with, I always introduce myself and chat with them. I mean, we DO have to perform in a scene together, so it’s super important to build that rapport and get on a friendly vibe with one another. If you know me, you know I believe that vibes are fucking everything. ESPECIALLY if we’re filming a scene, which is almost like a kind of dance with your scene partner(s). It’s ALL about flowing together naturally and putting on a kickass performance for the viewers at home. So, needless to say, it’s important to take time to connect with that person before the cameras fire up!

97% of the time, the crew and performers are professional, chill as fuck and WANT to be there, so it’s a good vibe overall.

The best PA ever! Sheila setting up my ZZ set.

I can count the number of times I’ve had weird experiences on set on one hand…stuff like getting there to find another talent having a total meltdown, a creepy director, a weird-vibe director trying to squeeze more than one scene out of the day while still paying me for one…BUT…these weird experiences are also exactly what’s shaped me into a no-nonsense boss bitch with clear boundaries and zero patience for sketchiness or bullshit.

This is where I’d like to say that yes, everyone is doing drugs and having sex with each other all day. But alas, ’tis not that exciting. lmao. But I’ll get to that.

If it’s a boy/girl scene, the male talent doesn’t get to set until later…that means after my hair and makeup is done and my pretty girl photos have been taken.

What are pretty girls, you may be wondering?

Pretty girls are glam pictures taken of the female talent in the outfit she’s wearing for the scene, then bra/panty set, then nude/hardcore. They’re, well, pretty photos of a pretty girl to promote and go with the overall scene. If there’s another female performer in the scene with me, we’ll each do solo pretty girls, and then get together to take the photos together.

So, we’ll take the pretty girls, and then we’ll usually start filming the scene intro. If it’s a dialogue scene, I’ll also rehearse dialogue with my scene partner first. Sometimes we’ll take the sex stills beforehand, so we can just film the scene and wrap when it’s done (sex stills are exactly what they sound like).

As much as I love to act, gonzo scenes are my favorite because they take WAY less time. (Gonzo scenes are where there’s little to no dialogue, just straight up sex). Personally, I am ALL about efficiency! Dialogue sometimes can take HOURS to film, depending on the company, efficiency of the crew and how in-depth the scene is. Talent rates are the same whether it’s a gonzo scene that takes two hours to film or an in-depth dialogue scene that takes 6.

Peace! Marica Hase and I on set.

With dialogue, we often have to do different takes of the same line so the cameras can get different angles (close up on everyone in the scene, close up on one person, POV from one person, etc).

If it IS a dialogue scene, we’ll film all of that, and then stop right before we get to the sex part.

At this point in the day, we’ve likely been filming for a few hours, so we’ll break to freshen up before we film sex. Now, SOMETIMES, if it’s a LONG day, or if the crew has another scene to film after mine, which is also common, this is the point where we might decide to break for a snack/lunch. There’s always lots of snacks, goodies and water, coffee and energy drinks in the kitchen (yes, that means NO BOOZE), so this would be a time to break, chill, eat, and then get back to work.

And then…go time! The sex is almost always the easiest part of the day because, as a performer, it’s what comes most naturally. And, unless I’m working with a newbie, the talent I’m working with is a seasoned pro, so we bang it out seamlessly and finish.

And then…that’s it! I’ll collect my stuff, shower (ALWAYS pee after sex, bonus points if you shower), pack up, collect my moolah, say goodbye to everyone, and be on my merry way.

That means that the only people on set who are having sex are the talent involved the scene. No crew is EVER involved (it feels weird to even type that lmao). It’s just NOT that vibe at ALL. The vast majority of the time, everyone there is a professional there to do a job.

In the makeup chair! I’m smiling on the inside 😉

That also means that no, nobody is doing drugs. At the MOST, some people might be slipping outside to smoke a little weed. That’s it.

The only shadiness that I’ve ever experienced, like I said, I can count on one hand. Just like literally ANY other job, the adult film industry has ALL kinds of people in it. And, certainly, some of these people may be inclined to do shady shit. There are also shady teachers, lawyers, doctors, etc. So this is not specific to just the adult film industry. It’s simply part of the human experience.

Point blank, porn sets are, well, work. They’re super fun, but also pretty fucking mundane. Like, I’m literally just in someone’s house, hanging out, filming a scene with colleagues, hanging out again, then going home. It’s chill as fuck. A stark contrast from the theories I’ve encountered over the years from many an inquiring mind.

As a wise man once said…”And if ya don’t know, now ya know.”

 

xo, alix

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Experience With: LSD

 

 

Before I get started, as per always, I am not condoning drug use whatsoever. I am simply sharing my own personal experience with you, and you can take this info and do with it what you wish.

I’ve microdosed LSD…aka, acid…a LOT.

I’ve taken acid…I don’t even know. 40 times or so. So I’ve had my fair share of experiences with it.

Like shrooms, which is the only other psychedelic I’ve taken, my experiences with acid have all been eye-opening. Every time I take it, I come out the other side feeling wiser, with a deeper understanding of myself and life as a whole. So, needless to say, just like shrooms, it’s also going to be a part of my life forever.

Also similar to shrooms, a full trip on acid is like running a computer virus cleaning program, but on your brain. In this case, your brain is the computer, with loads of tabs open, downloading spam, processing thousands and thousands of thoughts, often feeling overloaded and slowed down.

A day spent in a full trip on acid is like wiping the slate clean, removing ALL of that junk, and waking up the next day anew and refreshed AF.

When it comes to psychedelics, the vibe I do NOT fuck with is, “Let me take this and get really fucked up,” because for me, it’s important to have the right intentions in mind before doing them.

For me, it’s the vibe of, “I’m going to take this, have fun, and highly likely will come out the other side of this trip having fresh perspectives, new creative ideas, and a deeper understanding of life, and myself.”

In my experience, shrooms and acid have a lot of similar effects – you can read about my experience with shrooms here.

In short, it, too, is an ego dissolver.

For me, it’s a complete refresh. It re-centers me and re-reminds me of who I truly am, and what’s important in life.

I also didn’t try acid till later in life, at 29, which I’m thankful for because I don’t think I would have fully appreciated its incredible effects had I done it growing up.

In short, after I tried acid, I felt like I truly understood life.

Before I get into my latest experience, here’s the vibe I get into BEFORE ingesting it…

  • Make sure I’m in an environment that’s super comfortable. For me, most of the time, that’s either at my house, a close friend’s house, or an AirBNB with a trusted trip buddy. I want to feel at home, peaceful and relaxed. I also want to make sure my environment is clean, clutter-free, and overall just PLEASANT.
    • I only recommend taking acid in a public place (like, say, a music festival, or a public park) as a seasoned taker. I can feel weird around other people because I just know they’re not on the same “plane of existence” as me when I’m on it, if that makes sense. As in, when I’m on acid, I’m processing my thoughts differently. It can be an uncomfortable feeling when I’m around other people who aren’t on it. I feel like an alien. I do have enough of a grip on myself to be fine with that, but I just prefer to not.
      • I make my environment super duper vibe-y. For me, what that looks like is:

 

        • Pre-stocking the fridge with fresh fruit (I don’t usually want to eat when I’m on acid, but in my experience, when I do, it’s SWEET food). Yes, candy tastes FANTASTIC on it, but as a healthy person, fruit like crisp grapes, strawberries and other berries are SO GOOD.

 

        • Having fun activities to do. Video games are SO fun. Coloring books. Board games (ones that don’t require much strategic thinking). Puzzles. Netflix.

 

        • Music! I love to hook my phone up to a Bluetooth speaker with my favorite music. Jazz and trippy electronic is pretty cool for this excursion.

 

        • I LOVE having piles of comfy stuff to just roll around on (I’m a cuddle bug by nature and like to be cozy, so this is my JAM). Stuff like lots of fuzzy blankets to lay out on on the floor, big squishy pillows, etc. I am known to literally make pillow/blanket forts in this state.

 

        • Lighting! I prefer to do acid at night. It’s just…vibier, is the best way I can describe it. I have a galaxy star projector light and a few other colorful lights I love to turn on for my trip.

 

  • Make sure nobody is going to be coming over other than the people who are joining me for my trip, who are always close, trusted friends. If I want to make it a group thing, I always make sure I have a chill crew of people who are on the same wavelength for this kind of endeavor.

 

  • UNPLUG. Phone goes on airplane mode ALL day (in my experience, too, when I even try to look at my phone when I’m on psychedelics, I’m repulsed by how tethered I am to reality and don’t even WANT to be on it. LOL). I swear this is my subconscious talking to me. The idea with acid is to COMPLETELY let go and be present in the moment.

 

  • Wear a cozy ‘fit. Catch me in a giant t-shirt and/or hoodie, leggings, socks and…that’s it! I ALWAYS want to be as comfy as possible.

 

  • Clear out my schedule. On a trip day, I am completely unplugged, with absolutely nowhere to go and no responsibilities for that day, or the next (if I’m doing it at night).

 

  • If I’m with friends who have done it many times before and CAN handle their shit if, let’s say, god forbid there’s an emergency, then I’m good to do it with just all of you. When, however, I was brand new to acid, and the people I was with were, too, I would always get a sober friend to come hang for the day to be the grounding force among everyone.

 

  • Deal with anything going on in my life. If I have something that’s pissing me off, or I’m sad…if I’m feeling anything other than GOOD, I make sure to deal with whatever’s bugging me head on and sort through it. Often, I do this DURING a trip. Something to always remember that I keep in mind is that whatever is in me, if I’m burying anything, it WILL come up. So I’m ALWAYS mindful of that. And that’s NOT a bad thing, but it’s something that’s important to keep in mind. But, once I sort through it, no matter what that looks like, it always feels like a massive weight has been lifted off me. Like I can breathe again. Processing my bullshit is SO freeing.

 

  • Stay hydrated all day. No alcohol. No caffeine. Just good ol’ H2O and sparkling water.

Here’s a play-by-play of what a typical trip looks like for me:

  • Eat it. I usually have it in gel form, which is a tiny gel square that I put in my mouth and let dissolve on my tongue. I’ve also had it on dried mango, a paper square and a gummy candy. It comes in many forms.

 

  • Wait. I like to distract myself and wait for it to suddenly kick in. Usually that means I’m playing happy video games or watching a movie (colorful animated movies are the BEST). It usually takes 30 minutes or so to start feeling it.

 

  • I can tell when it’s kicking it because I start to get that butterfly sensation in my stomach. Like what happens when I’m excited…or drink coffee. TBH it kinda feels like both at the same time.

 

    • I can also tell when it’s kicking in because everything becomes fucking hilarious. I just start laughing at EVERYTHING. Like, I can control myself, and I’m in my right frame of mind, but I just THINK differently. It’s like as a kid when I used to play video games with my friends and just acted silly and giggled and had fun. Same vibes.

 

    • I LOVE playing video games and watching happy animated movies on it because the colors are REALLY cool to look at, and in this mind frame, I’m just in the moment, enjoying life, and happy. So of course, I want to play and do happy things.

 

  • I feel a general sense of warm fuzziness, well being, and bliss. The vibe I feel is just enjoying life fully in the moment, not worrying about anything, or thinking about anything. Just BEING. Every time I trip, I ALWAYS re-realize that I create problems for myself, often become too serious about things, and that anything I’m going through that’s bothersome to me isn’t actually THAT big of a deal – it’s all solvable!

 

  • Colors look REALLY cool. That’s why I love to watch bright, fun, animated, happy movies and play happy video games.

 

  • I have a general sense of awe, curiosity and appreciation for my life and all that is around me. Childlike, really. Everything is just beautiful. I ALWAYS re-realize just how good I actually do have it when I trip. This make me appreciative of all that I have already, rather than wanting more, more, more.

 

  • I’m personally a really big beauty and aesthetics person (as in, I love my environment to be really aesthetically pleasing because that’s what pleases me) so sometimes when I trip, I’ll end up redecorating my house (LMAO). It’s like I just happen to notice where certain pieces don’t work well together, or where a decorative fixture would look better in a different room. That kind of thing. It’s like a surge of creativity just rushes me.

 

My trips always last around 8 hours. Being the early bird that I am, if I’m taking it at night, I’ll take it at around 4PM so it tapers off at a decent hour so I can go to sleep after and not fuck up my sleep schedule. I’ve taken it too late a few times and ended up staying up all night, which I try to avoid.

The effects I shared are stronger at first, and then come in waves, eventually slowing down and tapering off. I remember the first time I ever took it, waking up the next day and just having a brand new sense of understanding of life and wisdom surrounding my existence…what I’m here to do and what makes me genuinely happy, as well as a newly-found confidence in myself and my what I’m truly capable of. It was a beautiful experience that I’ll never forget.

And, no hangover! As long as I get a good night’s sleep, I wake up the next day feeling blissful, recharged, refreshed and creative AF.

Just like shrooms, before trying LSD for the first time, I was under the impression that it would make me hallucinate and see shit that wasn’t there, and completely lose myself. None of which was the case. I’m always well aware of exactly what’s going on and can handle myself just fine. I just think differently, is all. My perspective changes.

It’s an incredibly consciousness-expanding experience that I will keep revisiting for the rest of my life.

 

xo, alix