xo, alix

alix lynx, unhinged

ASK AL: POLITICAL VIEWS, VEGANISM && FRIENDSHIPS OUTSIDE THE BIZ

 

You asked, I answered! 

 

ARE OPPOSING POLITICAL VIEWS A DEALBREAKER FOR ME?

Dear Alix, 

Would you date someone with opposing political views as you?

Generally speaking, this is really a case-by-case basis type of thing. Right now, however, in this precise point in time, in my country, I would absolutely not date someone with opposing political views as me. To me, this is very black and white. Either you’re for basic human rights and societal progression or you’re…not. Which I absolutely cannot get down with.

There ARE some aspects of political views that I can agree to disagree on…but there will always be some basic values that are important to me and non-negotiable for who I’m dating. Like, if you disagree with women’s rights to their own bodies (aka abortion), it’s not going to work. If you’re team Donald Trump for life, hell to the no. We will not get along. Don’t believe in climate change? We can’t even be friends. lol. Like I always say, I am who I am and it is what it is! 😉

 

WHAT MADE ME GO VEGAN?

Dear Alix, 

What made you go vegan?

So, to start, I was raised vegetarian. I was eating blocks of raw tofu and fresh vegetables and fruit at meals since I could eat solid food. So I started off on a super solid base – I’ve always LOVED healthy, vegan food. I can’t even eat junk food – a nibble here and there, but my body does NOT do well being fed processed junk, so I just don’t bother.

When I was 21 or so, I got really serious about weight lifting/body building, so I started incorporating stuff like grilled chicken and whey protein into my diet, which is how I ate (super clean and restrictive) up until around 3 years ago.

At that point, I went through a MASSIVE shift in my lifestyle and decided to turn my health and wellness up a LOT of notches. For me, that looked like a complete overhaul on my mental health (which is where I got into stuff like spirituality and meditating), getting serious about my sleep, stopped partying regularly, and also decided I was done with animal products.

Why? It’s like one day I woke up and was just super grossed out by the thought of eating anything that came from an animal, let alone an actual animal.

I just couldn’t do it anymore. It’s like I had arrived at a completely new level of compassion for others, creatures included. It was a vibe of, “Why do I have the right to kill and consume and exploit a creature I share this planet with? I fucking DON’T.” 

I also think getting my dog Scout had something to do with it to. Raising her from a tiny pile of fluff and seeing and reading about how SMART creatures like pigs are…I just stopped cold turkey. I was also living in LA which made it SUPER easy, because a LOT of my friends were vegan and there were vegan options everywhere. So I just started substituting stuff like my whey protein for vegan protein, grilled chicken for grilled tempeh and tofu, etc.

It was REALLY easy, and I’ll never go back. I’ve also never had more energy in my life. I feel like I’m aging in reverse. My skin is ridiculously clear. The list goes on. And now I don’t even live in LA anymore and I still make it work.

The bottom line is, it’s a lifestyle change that’s possible for anyone if they really want to do it. It just takes making the decision and finding replacements for the animal products you’re consuming. I’m a balls to the wall type of girl so I also stopped wearing leather products and am now fixated on cruelty-free beauty products. I also love that I’m contributing to the good of the planet as well as inspiring others to make the transition, too.

RELATIONSHIPS OUTSIDE THE INDUSTRY: IS IT POSSIBLE?

Dear Alix, 

Is it difficult to sustain friendships and relationships with people outside the adult industry?

In short, no.

To elaborate: For me, it’s EXTREMELY important that I DO have friendships and relationships with people outside the adult industry.

I don’t want to box myself in to my social circle being only my colleagues. (I LOVE my colleagues and I AM friends with many of them, but what I mean here is that diversity is crucial in my world)!

My social circle is a big melting pot, and I love it that way. Surrounding myself with people who come from different backgrounds/lifestyles, have different world experiences/viewpoints, and overall have different things to bring to the table is super important to me. That’s what helps me learn and grow as a person.

On top of that, having friendships and relationships outside the business helps keep me grounded. I LOVE my life and my career, but it’s also a weird one. If you’re an artist and/or have your own business, you know what I mean when I say that life can get overwhelming and also pretty isolating if you let it. It’s REALLY easy to get consumed with your work and lose touch with everything else because it’s your baby; your passion (I’ve been there and it was NOT pretty).

It’s also odd to be so exposed to so many people and be so vulnerable all the time (once again, I LOVE it, but I also NEED my people in “real life” to bring me back down to earth). It’s nice to be able to turn my computer and my phone off and just be me at the end of the day, living my life, in REAL life.

It’s not hard at all, because they’re real relationships with real people who see me for ME, not just what I do for a living.

If you’d like your questions answered, you can email my team (and it’s totally anonymous, P.S.) at teamfantasyfactory@gmail.com, and I’ll be answering away right here as well as in my “Ask AL” series on Instagram Live.

 

xo, alix

Sh*t to Do in Your 20’s so Your Life is Awesome

 

 

I VIVIDLY remember going to college, graduating, and being thrown into the real world, real quick. I got my first “grown up” job (clearly that life was NOT for me) and went about figuring my shit out. I’ve had a rebellious streak since, well, day one of my existence, and always been hell-bent on creating my coolest, most awesome, fun life possible. and THANK GOD FOR THAT.

Because without this tenacity and out-of-the-box way of doing life (I’ve ALWAYS been one to take risks, be ballsy and go after what I want) ingrained in me that came from god knows where, I would be one miserable motherfucker, probably still letting my soul die slowly every day at my desk job.

ICK.

But even with my personality and way of doing life being what it is, I STILL had a rude awakening after graduating. Point blank, I felt like I had been sold this LIE. I had spent years working my ass off to get this degree, was working on another degree, and was working at a desk job doing mundane work that I DID learn a lot in, but was still super boring. All I could think was, “Holy FUCK. I can’t believe THIS is this life I signed up for…for the next 40 or so years. FUCK this shit. There has to be more for me out there.”

Canadian Studies and Math B were NOT going to help me figure out how to make money on my own, let alone figure out how to invest it, do my taxes, or start a corporation.

I was determined to figure all of this out and would be damned if I had to spend the rest of my life sitting at a desk working for someone else. So, I did…thanks to endless brain-picking of successful entrepreneurs I knew as well as one of my BFFs, Google.

Here’s all the shit I figured out and started in my 20’s to set myself up for a lifetime of fun, financial security and freedom over my own schedule…and LIFE..

 

  • Start a retirement account. NOW. I opened my first Roth IRA at 22 because I knew I should. Did I know what the fuck I was doing? HELL NO. I stumbled around in the dark and slowly figured my shit out along the way. For a long time, all I did was deposit money and not invest. Then I started learning about investing. Then I started investing. The point is…just START. Even if you’re just putting $20 a week in. Even if you’re just putting $40 a month in. JUST. START. Be consistent with it. Commit to learning about investing. I am the LAST person I thought would be interested in investing (I used to think it was super fucking crusty and boring, but it’s actually REALLY FUN to see your dollars multiply)! I read books. I subscribe to Kiplinger’s. I read blog articles. I listen to podcasts. There’s literally no way around educating yourself about money. Either you do it or you stick your head in the sand and emerge 10 years later to be broke as fuck. Your call. 

 

  • Start stacking cash. Just like above. This is something I DIDN’T do for a while – I moved around a lot in an expensive city. I had a lot of expenses. I was putting my cash back into my businesses (which IS investing in myself for the long haul, but it’s still important to have extra cash). This shit ALL adds up. I make it REALLY easy for myself: I use the Digit and Acorns apps to automatically pull money out of my accounts each week. I also have my payroll take out a certain amount each time I’m paid and it goes to a separate bank account. I also have autodrafts on another account that goes to ANOTHER bank account that I don’t touch. This makes it an efficient AF and a literal NO-BRAINER, and let me tell you, it is SO motherfucking satisfying to see those numbers grow…and grow…and grow. People are weird about money, as I once was, but there is nothing noble about being broke. Don’t you WANT to live in your dream house? Drive your dream car? Look your best? Feed yourself the best of the best food? Have a cash reserve for when you have surprise random bills that come up, like the rock that went through my windshield last week? You can’t do that if you’re broke. And how good does it feel to have cash in your account? You feel like shit when you don’t. And once again, it doesn’t matter HOW much you save. Just START. Trust me…it WILL add up.

 

  • If you want to do something, just start. When I restarted my life to move cross-country from NY to LA in 2014 to do adult film, I had an agent and a place to stay in LA. That was IT. I started filming. My scenes were NOT good. When I first got on YouTube and was trying to find myself and figure out what kind of content to produce, my vids were NOT good. When I first got into my music project, the shit we would put out was NOT good. My point here is, if you REALLY want to start something, whether you dream of being an “influencer,” coach, actor, whatever…just own the fact that you’re going to fucking suck for a while. It’s going to be a lot of work with little reward for a while. Sometimes years. You either want it or you don’t. Stick with it and eventually you WILL get your momentum. You WILL get good. You WILL make it all happen. But you HAVE to have an attitude of “I’ll do whatever the fuck it takes to get to where I want to go,” and NEVER quit. There’s no shortcut. But would you rather create your dream life, or stick to what your friends and family think is a safe, “practical” (EW) job with a steady schedule and salary…even though you want to gouge your own eyes out every day? Both paths are challenging. Pick one.

 

  • Get comfortable being alone. I’ve been an introverted extrovert since…forever. As in, I fucking LOVE people, but I also LOVE being by myself. I love reading, writing, and just being quiet and cozy. Some people HATE this. As an adult, you’ll have bouts of time where you’re alone with your thoughts. You’re not in school anymore, so you’re not constantly surrounded by your peers. You can’t AVOID it. Plus, you should be your own best friend. So just wade through the uncomfortable-ness, one day at a time. I also found that the more time I spent by myself, working ON myself (doing shit like reading, listening to podcasts, just LEARNING) I grew to trust my own intuition over anything or anyone else. As in, I stopped asking people for their opinions on shit. I started making my own decisions…confidently. And there is NO better feeling in the world than knowing that you 100% have your own back at all times. Of course, you NEED help from other people. We’re not meant to do life fully ALONE. Everyone has different life experiences and areas of expertise. What I’m getting at here is to just get comfortable being alone with your own thoughts, and entertaining yourself. And, if you’re an artist and/or entrepreneur, this is double crucial. Quadruple crucial, even. Because this is also the place from where your best work and ideas will be born. 

 

  • Outsourcing shit you don’t wanna do. We only have X amount of time in each day. Sure, you technically CAN spend hours at the grocery store, cooking meals, cleaning your house…but do you really WANT to be doing that? Don’t you want to spend your time not working on more fun stuff? (unless this stuff IS fun for you). Even when I was making peanuts, I would still get my groceries delivered and split a house cleaning with my roommates so I could spend my free time ENJOYING myself. Now, of course, I’m a boss lady and genuinely LOVE to work, so I spend my time working and earning money and outsource as much shit as possible to other people. Life is meant to be enjoyed, so don’t spend your time doing stuff that’s mundane and annoying. Working smarter vs. harder and creating jobs for other people…yes, please.

 

  • Don’t buy shit you can’t afford. I remember when I was 18 and got my first credit card, which I promptly maxed out at Abercrombie and Fitch, spending it like a gift card. Then I forgot about it and it took me years to get my credit score un-fucked. Debt isn’t BAD. It’s neutral. And credit cards are a good thing to use. I also never learned ANYTHING about using credit cards, or financial management growing up. But racking up a fuckload of debt on your credit card just to buy material shit that’s cool in the moment and getting overwhelmed and freaking out over the balance…NOT THE VIBE. I pay my credit card off every week now, and set monthly spend limits for myself to keep myself on track. AKA….just be responsible. If you’re treating yourself to something fabulous to reward yourself for crushing it at work, and you spend from a place of knowing you will pay it off…that’s one thing. If you’re out having shopping sprees because you’re using shopping to fill a void that could be remedied with a creative outlet or fun hobby (BEEN THERE), that’s another. Nothing is hotter than feeling good around how you handle your money…and a big bank account to boot. 

 

  • Get serious about your self care. In your 20s, you can get by with little sleep, eating crap, and it doesn’t show on the outside…yet. But eventually, it does. Think of your body like a Ferrari. You get ONE Ferrari to take care of to get you through life. If you don’t drive the Ferrari, it’ll rust. If you put shitty fuel in your Ferrari, it won’t run NEARLY as well as if you use Premium. You get it. And if you don’t, what I mean here is take care of your body. Get your 8 hours of sleep. Start a fitness regime NOW. Start eating well and fueling your body with real, nourishing food NOW. Done right, you’ll feel like you’re aging in reverse when you’re in your 30’s and beyond. I seriously look and feel better at 31 than I EVER did in my 20s. It gets WAY more challenging the older you get, with more responsibilities piling on right and left, to get a grip on this shit. Getting to a point where self care becomes a crucial, non-negotiable, no-brainer part of your existence makes it REALLY fucking easy for you to stick with it for life.

You’re the only one who’s in charge of you.

You’re the only one who’s responsible for the kind of life you create…and the kind of person you become.

Set yourself up for a lifetime of maximum awesomeness early on makes it all one big non-negotiable no-brainer…for life.

And trust me, if I can do all of this…so can you.

 

No excuses.

 

xo, alix

Preventative Sh*t I Started In my 20’s to Be Healthy and Hot for Life

 

 

If you didn’t already know this by now, I am slightly (OK, extremely) obsessive about all things health, wellness and beauty. My entire vibe is to look and feel my best for my entire life from the inside out. I want to live a LONG, healthy life without any weird health issues to have to deal with later on. I want to have enough energy to do travel, create my best work, and do cool shit forever.

I also want to look hot as fuck while doing so.

We’re all entitled to live our lives exactly as we want to, and this is how I wanna live mine.

And all that said, I am also a HUGE proponent of habit-making, and starting early. You are a product of your habits. If you eat junk food every day, even if you don’t physically see the effects now, your insides sure do. If you don’t give your body time to rest and recharge with a good nights’ sleep, it wears away at you. If you don’t save money, one day you’ll wake up years down the road and wonder where it all went.

It’s the little day-to-day habits done consistently that create the most change for us in the long haul. So it’s crucial to be super mindful of what you’re doing and whether or not they’re contributing to the best life for yourself that you want to create, and the best version of yourself that you want to be. I say all this from a place of having been on the other side…sleepless nights, drinking too much, being late on paying my bills…and finally saying “Fuck this shit” and transforming my not-so-good habits into great ones. And hell, I’m still a work in progress! We all are!

When it comes to health, wellness and beauty, here’s the preventative sh*t I started in my 20’s that have me looking and feeling energized, happy and hot in my 30’s.

  • Lifting weights/daily movement. Like many other women, for the longest time I was under the impression that lifting weights would make me bulky, so I would spend an hour on the elliptical 6 days a week instead. (Just thinking about that now gives me MASSIVE anxiety)! I finally started getting serious about it when I was 21, and, much to my surprise, I found myself losing fat and building muscle…but I was NOT bulky. Instead, I was just toned AF. As a woman, you can’t bulk up easily because you don’t have enough testosterone in your body to do so.  So unless you’re lifting for hours a day AND eating a fuckload of calories a day, it just won’t happen. Lifting helped me build muscle mass which ultimately meant I could eat MORE and work out LESS. Nowadays I lift 20ish minutes a day 3-4 days a week and do HIIT cardio 5 days a week (and walk the other 2). My body is now a fat burning machine. Our bodies aren’t MEANT to be sitting down all day. We’re MEANT to move them. I wear a pedometer and aim for bare minimum of 10,000 steps per day on top of my workout routine.
  • Daily SPF. I am the QUEEN of being petrified of getting wrinkly. I always tell my friends that I’m going to look like Jane Fonda when I’m in my 80’s, and I absolutely mean it. It is what it is and I am who I am. That said, I don’t DO sun. I haven’t had a real sun tan in like ten years. Me at the beach means I’m slathered in SPF 50 head to toe wearing UV protectant sunglasses, a coverup, a big hat and carrying a sun umbrella. Plus, I also don’t wanna get motherfucking skin cancer. So even on days where it’s snowing and it’s cloudy, I’m STILL wearing SPF. Even when you’re out driving, UV rays can penetrate your skin and cause damage. All that said, I wear SPF 30 moisturizer on my face, ears, neck and hands EVERY DAY, all year round. When it’s hot out and I’m in less clothing, I am SLATHERED head to toe. My makeup also has SPF in it, too.
  • Skincare routine. Your skin is just one giant organ that you wear on the outside of your body (weird af, right?!) Getting into the habit of a solid skincare routine in my 20’s has set me up for a lifetime of glowing, healthy skin. I am ALWAYS tweaking my routine, too (which I’ll share soon in a separate post because there’s a LOT) and trying out different products, tools and med spa services. Some VERY surface level key pointers when it comes to skincare:
    • Eating clean, drinking a ton of water, little alcohol, exercise and sleep make up for a large chunk of how fabulous (or not) your skin looks. It wasn’t until I got REALLY serious about all of the above that my skin became ridiculously clear, plump and glow-y on its own.
    • Daily moisturizer. Keep your skin as hydrated as you keep your body. I LOVE to just slather my skin in squalane oil or rosehip oil and let it sink in before I apply my daily SPF that I mentioned above. I also ALWAYS use an eye cream that I gently dab on – your eye area is one of the first places to show signs of aging, and the skin is super delicate.
    • I always wash my makeup off before bed – NEVER sleep with makeup on!
    • I go to bed looking like a glazed donut, slathered in oil + eye cream.
  • Clean eating and staying hydrated. I eat a whole foods, plant-based diet, which basically means that 95% of the time, I only eat real foods that come from the earth (as opposed to shit like chips, candy, etc). I eat a TON of vegetables every day, at least one serving of fruit, protein at every meal, and get 1-2 servings of healthy fats in, too. I have a steady energy level and never feel sluggish from food. I rarely eat junk food and I rarely drink alcohol, and never drink soda or any other sugary drinks. Aside from fruit, I stay away from sugar the vast majority of the time. It’s really, really bad for you. I also drink a TON of water all day in the form of not just water (with lemon) but hot brewed tea and sparkling water, too. I spend the extra money on super clean, organic food because for me, it’s either that or spending a lot more money on health-related issues later on in life that I can fully prevent right now.
  • Staying on top of my doctor’s appointments. Is it a drag to go to the doctor’s? Sure. I don’t LOVE interrupting my day to trek to the dentist or to go to my dermatologist appointment, but it’s far better to stay on top of this shit now instead of having to deal with some wild illness or surprise cavity later in life because I neglected my health. I book my appointments, I suck it up, and I show up. I’m grateful I HAVE the opportunity to be able to do this!
  • Botox and filler. This shit is of course a personal choice, but for someone like me who likes to maintain a youthful appearance for…ever….this stuff is just as crucial for me as all of the above. I started getting preventative Botox at 22 when I saw my first tiny wrinkle. I have filler all up in my face (lips, nasolabial folds, cheeks, undereyes). I’ll be doing this forever.
  • Stretching. The name of my game is that we only get this one body to carry us through life, so we better make damn sure we take care of it. Just like daily movement and lifting, stretching is super important. If you don’t use it, you lose it! I like to snack on an edible in the evening after work, turn my brain off and just melt into stretches while I watch a show on TV. And it feels sooooo good. Your elderly self will thank you for starting this now.
  • Sleep. I remember being 20, going out to a wild rager till 3am, then springing out of bed the next day to get to my shift at the convenience store at 6am and being fine to function. Now? F THAT. I am SO snobby about my sleep. When you sleep, your brain literally cleans itself out. Your body heals itself. It’s like charging your batteries. I do my best to get at least 8 hours every night and it’s a whole thing. I use aromatherapy spray, silk pillowcases and eye mask, and keep it as dark and cool in my room as possible. Like a cave. Needless to say, I do NOT play the “Team No Sleep” game. Gross. Catch me on “Team Well Rested” for life.

 

Like any other new habit you decide to take on, it takes time to MAKE it a habit. Commit one day at a time. The way I see it? Show up for yourself and put in the effort NOW – not only does this all eventually become second nature (I get MASSIVE anxiety if I skip a workout for more than a couple days, for example), but it becomes a crucial part of you. Deciding to adopt good habits NOW will save you a lot of headache in the future. You got this. 

 

xo, alix