xo, alix

alix lynx, unhinged

The Top 5 Life Lessons I Learned from Doing Porn

 

 

Whether you’ve been following me for one month or one year or longer, you likely know that I have MAJOR beef with the way the porn industry is often portrayed in mainstream media. Clickbait titles that start with “Former Porn Star______” or “Porn Star ______” telling stories of scandals and shady shit galore, often completely out of touch with how the industry ACTUALLY is. (Which, frankly, is relatively mundane in the day to day, but I won’t ruin the fantasy here) ;}

I have my BA in Broadcast Journalism. One of the first lessons I learned in college was that the news doesn’t report on good shit, because nobody would want to hear about it, and therefore nobody in the biz would make money. This is also why I heavily limit my consumption of news as a whole, and only get mine from select sources I deem reliable. So the moral of this story here is, it’s a good idea to learn how to think critically, and for yourself. But I’ll save that for another post.

Anyways.

The reason why I bring this up is because I’ll forever be an advocate for the adult entertainment industry, and sex workers, no matter where my life takes me. Certainly, different people have different experiences in the adult biz. It attracts ALL kinds of people from ALL walks of life, and everyone has their own reasons for joining. I absolutely do NOT discredit anyone who hasn’t had a good experience in the ‘biz. All I can do, however, is share my own experiences that I’ve lived, from my own point of view.

It should also be noted here that every single business industry on earth is comprised of all kinds of different people, and it’s weird as fuck to me that people are judge-y towards sex workers as a whole, but if one teacher, for example, gets in trouble for doing shady shit, people don’t stigmatize ALL teachers on earth because of it. See what I’m saying?

Again, different time, different post. With that, here’s some of the REALLY JUICY SHIT that I learned from doing porn.

 

1. Lots of people are into freaky shit.

When I use the term “freaky” here, I just mean not traditionally vanilla. There are TONS of fetishes and kinks that exist that, as a pretty vanilla person, I never even knew about till I became a webcam model. Nose and neck fetishes, pegging, nipple-licking, tickle fetishes, cuckholding…the list goes on for all of eternity. One of the most common questions I get pertaining to different kinks/fetishes is, “Am I normal?” to which the answer is almost always YES.

As long as you’re not harming anyone or doing anything illegal, nor is your freaky side actually interfering with your day-to-day life, then fucking ENJOY it! Life is meant to be lived, and sex is JUST as normal as the need to eat and sleep.

The fact of the matter is that if there is a higher power, I can promise you I know this much: Nobody gives a fuck in this life or the next as to what you enjoy sexually here on earth. Again, speaking from a place of you’re not doing anything illegal and your x-rated activities aren’t fucking up other stuff in your life.

Bubble burst!

It’s not the place of any one human (or many) to dictate or judge how other grown adults should live their lives, no matter what anyone says. That’s just some made up fuckery from centuries ago that humans started so they could have power and control over others. So the moral of this story here is: Get your fucking freak on and put your blinders ALL THE WAY UP to anyone with a “holier than though” attitude when it comes to sex. You’re welcome.

 

2. Porn sex is VERY different from sex at home. 

Yes, I do wild shit on the internet, but my sex life at home is more on the vanilla and passionate end of the spectrum. And I LOVE it. The difference is that coming from the world of porn, I have a VERY open mind when it comes to sex, so I wouldn’t cringe or get weirded out if my partner wanted to do something we don’t normally do. And I would highly likely be down to give it a shot, because why the fuck not?! Life is meant to be lived!

But those wild positions you see, where women are sucking dick upside down while the guy holds their ankles, taking a hard pounding in the ass for an hour straight, the stepfamily taboo craziness…that’s reserved for the small screen (especially the latter. lol). It’s all fantasy by adult actors, for adults at home to enjoy. That’s it. Just like video games and movies you would see on the big screen.

 

3. Every adult watches porn. 

Yes, there are always exceptions to the rule. This is a super generic statement, but it’s also TRUE. I’ve had newer girls in the industry tell me they didn’t think anyone would ever find out they did porn, which is a terrible mindset to have. EVERYONE ALWAYS FINDS OUT because EVERYONE WATCHES PORN.

I’ve heard stories of women in the adult biz going out to public places, living their life and minding their own business, only to be called shit like “Slut” by other people nearby. But what would lead those people to believe that to be true? The level of fucked up of doing that to ANYONE aside…IT’S BECAUSE THEY’VE SEEN THEM IN A FUCKING PORNO. BECAUSE THEY WERE AT HOME WATCHING. *Palm in face*

The hypocrisy is so, so real. This has also led me to give absolutely zero fucks about what anyone has to say about porn, (aside from just not giving a flying fuck about what people think in general), but also because I know for damn sure the odds are, said person WATCHES PORN. Therefore, hypocrite. Therefore, someone who has seriously convoluted viewpoints and values and is not to be taken seriously, and certainly deserves NONE of my energy.

 

4. All bodies are different. 

Pre-porn, I was self-conscious of parts of my bod just like anyone else. After seeing SO many different humans (especially fellow females) in the nude, I’ve learned that mainstream beauty standards are fucking stupid and also just trends (just like fast fashion), and to NOT follow them unless I truly felt aligned with whatever enhancement I was considering. Plastic surgery is absofuckinglutely fine (lord knows I’ve had my fair share) but after spending so much time in the adult biz, and seeing SO many gorgeous women of all different shapes and sizes and body types, I’ve learned that beauty IS truly in the eye of the beholder.

Experiencing this helped me SO much in becoming confident and comfortable in my own skin, as ME. Not a weird version of someone else. And, when you’ve been naked in front of millions and millions of humans, it’s a sense of empowerment and liberation that is unexplainable. The world has seen you at your most vulnerable, and you’ve seen the truth firsthand of how real bodies of real sex symbols actually look (ALL different), you realize that just being YOU is enough. I no longer compare myself to others wishing I looked a certain way the way I used to back in the day.

 

5. The best sex is with someone you love. 

Cliché? Maybe. Cheesy? Maybe. Do I care? Please see #3. My house, my thoughts! This is what I know to be true. I’ve done some wild shit, but literally NOTHING compares to sex with someone you love and have a strong emotional connection with. The key is to be present, communicate, and find your right-for-you balance of giving and receiving. If you wanna try freaky shit, do it with someone you love. It’s WAY more fun that way.

 

What else do you want me to share about? What else do you want to know? Comment below or tweet me.

 

xo, alix

ASK AL: ONLYFANS AND HOW IT’S CHANGED THE ADULT INDUSTRY

 

 

 

You asked, I answered! 

 

HAS ONLYFANS CHANGED THE ADULT ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY?

Dear Alix, 

Onlyfans is EVERYWHERE. Has the adult entertainment industry changed because of it? Is it changed FOREVER?

Yes.

Onlyfans has been around for a handful of years now, but it’s popped OFF especially in the past year. And yes, it has changed the entire industry, but in a GOOD WAY.

For performers, Onlyfans has been a MASSIVE game changer. It’s shown adult performers that THEY are the ones with the power, NOT the production companies. As in, it’s shown adult performers that THEY can go and produce their own scenes for their fan club members, as well as earn a living, just from providing that incredibly special and intimate experience for their fans.

When I first got into the business, the number of women I knew who were focused mostly on producing their own content (I was one of them, still am) vs. the ones who were just going full force filming for companies was a small percentage compared to a massive one. The way things were then was that your agent would book you for a scene with a studio. You were paid a flat rate for that one scene for the day and that was that. Just like going to the office and working your desk job for the day.

Onlyfans has opened up a LOT of performers’ eyes to the fact that they can produce their OWN scenes (and collaborate with other performers of choice to do so) for their fans. In addition, they can make residual income from those scenes for literally EVER. It’s short-sighted vs. long-term. For me, personally, I’m a big picture person. So I would much rather spend my time producing my own scenes that I can share with my fans however and whenever I want, FOREVER.

For example, I can share a scene on Onlyfans, then post it on a site like Manyvids a year down the road, then post a preview of it onto Pornhub…vs. if I go work for a company, I’m paid a flat rate for that scene and I have zero residuals or ownership of that scene. So a company can pay me $1,500 for a scene and then make $20,000+ off of it (this is common, BTW).

This is why it’s annoying for performers to hear from fans that they’ve “retired” just because they’re no longer going to set and instead are producing their own scenes. From a business perspective, it’s smarter to produce your own scenes. BUT…it’s also fun to collaborate with companies for cool passion projects! And some performers just fucking LOVE being on set.

It’s ALL OK. 

In addition, Onlyfans is the shit because it allows performers to give their fans intimate access to their worlds…whether that’s in the form of professionally-produced, high-end scenes, or just pulling out the camera during an intimate moment at home in the bedroom and hitting the record button. It gives fans DIRECT access to their favorite performers. Like, I LOVE more than anything the fact that I can DM directly with my fans and cater to each one’s specific desires. It’s like a combination of a virtual strip club and a Starbucks (lol). Fans can order stuff like custom videos, voice notes, photo sets, etc. all custom-tailored to their personal desires and fantasies.  

The sky is literally the limit. 

Having that extra income from Onlyfans every month, simply put, gives performers OPTIONS. If you don’t feel like going to film for a studio, you don’t have to. Some performers are strictly producing their own scenes for Onlyfans now and not going to studios anymore because they make way more money from working less (which isn’t a BAD thing. It’s working SMARTER).

PLUS, producing your own content, as a performer, gives you complete control over who you collaborate with, the kind of scene you film, and literally every single detail in between. Which, in my opinion, just makes for a BETTER, more organic and HOT AF scene. It’s that vs. just going to set to work for a company where you’re told who you’re working with, given a script and a scenario to act out, and are paid a flat for the day, zero residuals.

Onlyfans also gives performers freedom to work from wherever the hell they want. In theory, I can literally go anywhere in the world whenever I feel like and still be able to film and take hot pics and vids. 🙂

All in all, Onlyfans just gives performers more options and also allows them to further monetize and expand their businesses. And, even if Onlyfans were to suddenly disappear tomorrow, there are other fan club sites out there, like Fancentro, so this business model is never going to completely go away. That said, yes, I do believe that the adult entertainment industry is forever changed because of it.

 

IS ONLYFANS AN EASY WAY TO MAKE MONEY?

Dear Alix, 

Is it easy for someone to hop on Onlyfans and make a ton of money? It seems like anyone can do it.

This is a wildly common belief but is also absofuckinglutely not true. Let me explain. 

IF you are, say, an Instagram model, adult actress, or hell, any sort of person who has a presence on social media and a fuckload of followers ALREADY, then yes, you can do very well on Onlyfans because you’ve already got the audience for it AND you already know that producing content for Onlyfans is a must if you want to do well with it.

For someone who falls into these categories, it’s going to be easier for you than, say, someone who’s starting with a blank slate with no presence or followers because you’re starting from scratch, so you have to build all of that, too.

But even if you DO fall into any of the above-mentioned categories, it’s still a lot of fucking work. In my world what that looks like is DMing with my fans twice daily, taking new photos and vids, filming new scenes, organizing them, sending them out, etc. PLUS filming custom content on an as-needed basis…and it’s doing that every single day. Literally. I don’t think I’ve NOT posted on Onlyfans in like two years. That’s just me. I’m super structured and this is how I run mine. Some people I know are way more chill with it, but I believe in consistency AND delivering for my fans daily. It’s a personal preference.

If, on the other hand, you’re JUST starting off with a blank slate, it’s also going to be a lot of work for you because you’re not only doing stuff like interacting with fans on Onlyfans, taking new pics, vids, filming new scenes..you’re also doing stuff like growing your fan base on social media and promoting your content (which you STILL need to do even if you have a fuckload of followers from my first example) but when you’re first starting off, for a lot of people, it’s challenging because you’re fresh to the scene so you’re trying to find your vibe and figure out what kind of scenes to film, what kind of stuff your fans are into, what YOU’RE into, that kinda thing.

(^^^^I know this was an entirely run on sentence but I don’t care because this is my site, my rules. heh heh.)

All in all, regardless, Onlyfans is a lot of fucking work, but it’s also a LOT of fun! Just like any other business, it’s easy when you love the work you’re doing because it doesn’t feel like work. I can easily go 12 hours of filming back to back to back to back photo sets because I’m having a blast playing dress up knowing that my fans will love what they see.

If you’re thinking about starting an Onlyfans for yourself…or perhaps you’re just curious, and want to learn more about how it all works, I also wrote a FREE e-book that shares how I make 5 figures a month on Onlyfans (which anyone can do if you follow my guidelines).

You can download the ebook HERE. 

If you’d like your questions answered, you can email my team (and it’s totally anonymous, P.S.) at teamfantasyfactory@gmail.com, and I’ll be answering away right here as well as in my “Ask AL” series on Instagram Live.

 

xo, alix