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July 6, 2020

STOP. COMPARING.

 

 

 

 

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” -Theodore Roosevelt

 

Well said, right?

 

Because it’s fucking true. 

 

We’re ALL guilty of this. 

 

It is SO easy to log on to Instagram and get sucked into a rabbit hole vortex of scrolling through someone else’s life that LOOKS picture-perfect, then feeling like shit about yourself because your life isn’t like that. 

 

Coming from someone who is on the other side of this (as in, it’s literally my JOB to curate content for social media in a specific way because that’s how I run my business), I KNOW all that it takes to post that ONE photo. 

 

46 different takes in 2 different rooms to get the lighting JUST right. 

 

Changing my outfit because it doesn’t photograph well. 

 

Bouncing between 3 different photo editing apps tweaking and tuning. 

 

Coming up with the perfect caption. 

 

It’s a LOT.

It’s WORK. 

 

And even fully knowing how this works, I STILL (WAY WAY less, but every so often it creeps up on me) find myself playing the comparison game with people on social media.

EVEN THOUGH I KNOW EXACTLY HOW MUCH EFFORT GOES INTO CREATING THAT ONE PIECE OF CONTENT. 

 

It’s a mindfuck. 

 

Social media is a wonderful tool to share and connect with people, but too much of it can be downright toxic. 

 

It’s SO easy to fall into the comparison trap. But what you’re comparing is your real life to someone else’s curated feed that they carefully put together to tell a story with. 

 

NOT their real life. 

 

A BIG thing for me is to always surround myself with people who are smarter and doing better than me.

So when it comes to social media, take time to follow those to do the same for you. It’s fuel to keep you upleveling in life. 

 

But everyone else? If there is anyone who is making you feel “less than” or just overall BAD about yourself because you can’t help but compare your life to theirs? 

 

Mute them.

 

It’s nothing personal. Your mental health comes first. 

 

Stop comparing and go live. 

 

xo, alix

Filed in: REAL TALK | By xoalynx | Leave a Comment

May 26, 2020

F the Joneses

 

Fuck EVERYTHING about the Joneses.

Like, who even are these people and why, at some point in our lives, did we find ourselves scrambling to buy the next cool gadget and then the next cool gadget and then the next one and the next…just to show these people nobody seems to know that we’ve got everything so therefore we’re really super duper mega cool.

But secretly we’re broke as fuck, living paycheck to paycheck and have $400 to our name. 

Lemme back up here REAL quick, though. Look. I LOVE expensive shit. I am the queen of wearing a Forever 21 ensemble paired with a fabulous designer handbag and equally fabulous designer jacket. I drive a luxury car.

I’m not sharing this to brag.

I’m sharing this because I DO THIS THING that entails bringing nice things and experiences into my life because they make me feel good. Because it’s precisely ME and MY STYLE and how I’ve done things since the beginning of time.

I like what I like and I do shit because I want to… to impress MYSELF and reward MYSELF for all my hard work.

I am who I am and it is what it is. 

So anyways, there’s a difference between treating yourself to high quality luxury items that you adore and will cherish forever and that help elevate you to be your best self in life…(let’s be real, I feel MUCH more Queen-like driving my gorgeous car with [vegan] leather interior, ventilated seats and backup cam than I ever did driving my 2005 Toyota Corolla with hand-crank windows)… 

…and rushing out to buy the latest iPhone solely because all your friends have it and if you don’t have the same phone you will literally die.

As in, you feel like you HAVE to have this phone or you won’t fit in and people will make fun of you. THAT is the nonsense I’m talking about.

Because THAT kind of behavior is toxic as fuck.

Once again, I’m not here to judge.

That’s the culture we as Americans were raised in. It takes a whole lot of consistent, conscious effort and discipline to UNLEARN a lifetime’s worth of knowledge and learn how to see that this whole existence is a total sham and to NOT live that way. 

In fact, I only feel 10000% comfortable speaking on this because I am a former one of THOSE PEOPLE. High school and college me would go out and blow entire week-long paychecks at Abercrombie and Fitch solely to wear the same clothes as everyone else and fit in.

Which, obviously, it was never my clothes that made me fit in. It was ME. I just felt, at the time, that I needed to BE like everyone else in order for people to like me.

Ew, right?!?

Keeping up with the Joneses doesn’t just apply to buying shit you don’t need, though. It also applies to stuff like…

Feeling like you need to get married because you’re at the age where it seems like everyone else around you is doing it. 

Feeling like you need to have a kid right now because everyone else is doing it. THAT kind of thing. 

All I have to say to this is…

 

 

IN ALL CAPS. 

Seriously. FUCK the Joneses. How about you live your life EXACTLY the way YOU want to. How about you put your blinders WAY the fuck up and get quiet with yourself.

Make it a point to spend time alone daily to give yourself time to let your mind wander, think and let it tell you what it wants.

FAR AWAY FROM THE INFLUENCE OF OTHER PEOPLE.

It doesn’t MATTER that all your BFF’s from college are now married with 2 kids. If that sounds like a royal nightmare to you at this point in your life, IT’S FINE.

THAT JUST MEANS DON’T DO ANY OF THAT NOW BECAUSE THAT’S NOT YOUR PATH AT THIS POINT IN YOUR LIFE. 

If you decide, out of fear, that you HAVE to get married now or that you HAVE to have a kid now or that you HAVE to be a doctor because it’s expected of you because that’s what generations of your family have done…

You’re setting yourself for a lifetime of dreams that will remain repressed in you for eternity. And believe me, you will FEEL that. Maybe not right away, but trust me. They’ll emerge. 

You can’t kid yourself. 

You’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of wondering what would have happened if only you had followed your heart and done that THING that you always wanted to do. 

You’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of running on a hamster wheel, always chasing after the next thing and the next thing and the next thing, and wondering why you never fully feel satisfied. 

You’ll feel satisfied when you figure out what it is in life that TRULY lights you up. Whether that be being a kickass caretaker or CEO. When you figure out what makes YOU TRULY HAPPY and consistently do that.

You’ll feel satisfied when you understand that you already have everything you need in you to be happy, if only you get quiet with yourself enough to give it time to emerge. 

Because chasing external THINGS that you think will make you happy…

Because they’re supposed to make you happy. 

Because you think you’ll be happy when you’re just like everyone else…

Is a BEAUTIFUL recipe for disaster. 

Fuck the Joneses. Live your life as YOU. No matter what that looks like. 

 

xo, alix 

 

Filed in: REAL TALK | By xoalynx | 1 Comment

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