xo, alix

alix lynx, unhinged

Am I Crazy?!

 

 

 

I question myself almost daily if I’m crazy. From what I’ve gathered, having had many chats with fellow content creators and those who took the entrepreneurial route – this is completely normal.

It’s funny, because people look at me and my life, and from the outside looking in, it seems like I’ve done pretty damn well for myself. Which I have. But with that knowledge comes the blessing and curse of knowing that I can always do better.

I constantly feel like I’m waking up every day with a blank slate, and I’m the only one who’s in charge of figuring out what the next move is. Talk about pressure.

I constantly feel like I’m multitasking and have five billion projects going on all at once, and it’s more often than not that it feels like my brain is on information overload mode, ready to explode.

I’m constantly judging myself and picking myself apart, finding ways in which I can do and be even better than I was the day before. And sometimes, it gets dark. It’s definitely not uncommon for me to have a full-on meltdown a couple times a month when life gets too overwhelming.

What’s also funny is that people think that being a full-time content creator is easy work. And yes, when you love what you do, as I do, most of the time it really doesn’t feel like work. I take that as the indicator that I’m on the right path. But don’t get me wrong. I also work harder at this point in my life than I ever have before.  It takes a ton of help from my team in staying organized. It takes a ton of back and forth emails, calls, texts at all hours. It takes a ton of discipline. It takes a ton of planning. It takes a ton of creative juice. And sometimes, it just gets to be a lot. So much so that sometimes I fantasize about just throwing in the towel and becoming a librarian. I kid, but it has crossed my mind!

What’s interesting is that I noticed that my anxiety over life in general got way worse when I decided to stop doing adult film full time on studio sets and switched to just being an independent content creator, meaning that I was now officially fully responsible for all of my income and all of my growth. No more agents sending me to set where I would be told what to do and leaving with a paycheck.

Now, my success was officially all on me. Once again, the pressure! But what’s also interesting is that while, in many ways, life got a lot more difficult…it also got a lot better. I can’t deny that at this point in my life, I’m happier than I have ever been.

I needed that separation from being immersed in work 24/7, because being the work-obsessed lady I am and living in LA…that was all I did, living right next door to tons of fellow performers & studios & sets. I needed that extra breathing room to actually take time and create a life – a real life – for myself, behind the small screen. One that I could retreat into, and just be myself.

I needed that extra time not spent on set to figure out my next moves. To grow and expand into exciting new projects and ventures that I otherwise would have put on the back burner. Venturing out of my comfort zone has both absolutely terrifying and wildly exciting.

And as each day passes, I notice that there are more and more brand-new challenges that I haven’t ever faced before. Each day I have a new small fire to put out. Each day I learn something new that completely changes my perspective on any given topic. Each day I realize that I really don’t know all that much, and that I have a lot to learn.

I’ve also realized this: I wouldn’t have my life any other way other than what it is now. I truly know and believe to the core of my soul that the universe doesn’t present me with any challenge or task that I am not ready for. I truly know and believe that each of us are exactly where we need to be in this very moment, learning the lessons that we need to learn. I truly know and believe that life is happening for us. That each mistake made is a teachable moment. That I could not live my life as my absolute best and highest self if I were busy carving out the dreams of others rather than my own.

I’ve come to the conclusion that working for yourself is for sure not for everyone, but for those who feel called to take this path…you gotta trust your gut and just dive in headfirst, just like I did. It’s a nonstop rollercoaster of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. It’s the biggest lesson is personal development ever. It’s a complete mind fuck. It’s fucking fun, and rewarding, and empowering to be in complete control over my own destiny. And while that may very well make me crazy, I still wouldn’t change it for the world.

Ask AL: Hot Branding & Biz Tips

ASK ALIX XO AIIX GRAPHIC

 

Hi.

 

So. I get bajillions of questions from you guys all day every day across all my social media platforms. SO MUCH SO that I have here for you my Ask Alix…column? Thread? Series?

Whatever you wanna call it, this is the first one and I’ll be doing this on the regular. So keep the Q’s coming and I’ll do my best to be of service to you :} 

 

DEAR ALIX,

 

  1. Your branding is FIRE. How do I make my personal branding as good as yours?

 

Awww. THANK YOU. I love hearing this because it took me a while to get it to the point where it felt precisely aligned with ME. That leads me to some golden nugget tidbits that helped me create mine…

 

  1. Take quiet time to yourself for as long as you need to (a couple hours a day for a week after work, a full day to really just let your brain GO, 20 minutes a night for a month…whatever) DISTRACTION FREE AKA NO PHONE, set yourself up in an environment that inspires you with a notebook and pen and pick your own brain. What are you passionate about? What are your favorite colors? What do you stand for? What’s most important to you in life? What makes you YOU? How would you describe your personal style? You’re basically giving yourself a space away from the noise of the world to get to know the ins and outs of exactly what makes you tick, how you want your life to be and how you want to represent yourself. 
  2. Whether it’s for personal or business, branding is everywhere. You’re branding yourself every time you have an interaction with someone and every time you get dressed in the morning. It all matters. So it’s a matter of deciding exactly how you want to be and how you want to be perceived. They’re really one and the same. But also, like, BE YOURSELF. Decide who the best version of yourself is and just be that. Don’t try to be someone you’re not.
  3. If you want people to know you for being someone who always delivers stellar services and shows up on time, you gotta walk that walk. And if you’re like me where both worlds collide (as in, you ARE your brand. Like, AL is ME. Who I am at core never changes) all that branding is just me being ME. Like the specific fonts and color schemes I use in my graphics and video creations. Like the way I talk and write. Like the way I sign off on emails. Even the scent of candles I use. Branding is being the full on embodiment of YOU, as well as your product or service. 
  4. Evolve! All that said, part of the grand scope of life means never-ending evolution. So, like, a logo I made 5 years ago I currently feel no longer best represents who I am or what I’m about. Same with the change in my appearance and demeanor. We’re all always evolving, so your brand’s gotta evolve with you, too. I recently just did an overhaul on mine to match the vibe I’m feeling in my life right now: elegant and edgy with touches of glam. It wouldn’t feel right to me if I kept all my old graphics and logos because I wanted everything to stay the same. That’s just not what I feel best represents ME anymore. I’ve grown and changed, and businesses grow and change, too. 

 

  1. What’s the best piece of advice you would give to an aspiring entrepreneur?

 

Oh, man. Just ONE is tough. But since I have to pick just one, here it is.

 

ALWAYS REMEMBER WHY. 

 

What I mean here is to get super duper self aware as to WHY you’re going to go into business for yourself in the first place. Get REALLY clear.

Like, is it because you want to be able to be in control of your own time? Is it because you really love helping people and know you have something really special to offer them? Is it because you want to be able to make boat loads of money to live life exactly as you want to, take care of your family, and buy your dream home?

(And another quick tip: If you’re not getting into business with part of your core reason being about helping people in SOME way, you’re not getting into it for the right reasons). Once you know WHY you’re going to work for yourself, that’s exactly what’s going to keep you going. 

Because let me tell you, working for yourself is NOT always easy. You’re solely responsible for delivering to yourself the exact quality of life you want. If you know what kind of business you want to start, you likely have grand visions as to where you want to be with it in a couple years, right?

So it’s your responsibility to get yourself there, no matter what it takes, to be figuring out every step of the way. That means you have to put in the work and it’s not always going to be a blast in a glass.

Having that core set of reasons to revisit every time you, ya know, have an epic meltdown (which p.s. I welcome with open arms usually a couple times a month), is what’s going to keep you sane when moments of insanity strike.

That said, if you’re committed to this way of life, there is NO greater feeling in the world than bringing your gifts and creations to life for others to enjoy. I would never, EVER choose another way of living other than where I’m at right now. If this is what you truly want, it is SO worth it. 

 

Got burning Q’s? Submit them to me here, on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, whatever! I’m everywhere. ;}

 

xo al