xo, alix

alix lynx, unhinged

The Top 5 Life Lessons I Learned from Doing Porn

 

 

Whether you’ve been following me for one month or one year or longer, you likely know that I have MAJOR beef with the way the porn industry is often portrayed in mainstream media. Clickbait titles that start with “Former Porn Star______” or “Porn Star ______” telling stories of scandals and shady shit galore, often completely out of touch with how the industry ACTUALLY is. (Which, frankly, is relatively mundane in the day to day, but I won’t ruin the fantasy here) ;}

I have my BA in Broadcast Journalism. One of the first lessons I learned in college was that the news doesn’t report on good shit, because nobody would want to hear about it, and therefore nobody in the biz would make money. This is also why I heavily limit my consumption of news as a whole, and only get mine from select sources I deem reliable. So the moral of this story here is, it’s a good idea to learn how to think critically, and for yourself. But I’ll save that for another post.

Anyways.

The reason why I bring this up is because I’ll forever be an advocate for the adult entertainment industry, and sex workers, no matter where my life takes me. Certainly, different people have different experiences in the adult biz. It attracts ALL kinds of people from ALL walks of life, and everyone has their own reasons for joining. I absolutely do NOT discredit anyone who hasn’t had a good experience in the ‘biz. All I can do, however, is share my own experiences that I’ve lived, from my own point of view.

It should also be noted here that every single business industry on earth is comprised of all kinds of different people, and it’s weird as fuck to me that people are judge-y towards sex workers as a whole, but if one teacher, for example, gets in trouble for doing shady shit, people don’t stigmatize ALL teachers on earth because of it. See what I’m saying?

Again, different time, different post. With that, here’s some of the REALLY JUICY SHIT that I learned from doing porn.

 

1. Lots of people are into freaky shit.

When I use the term “freaky” here, I just mean not traditionally vanilla. There are TONS of fetishes and kinks that exist that, as a pretty vanilla person, I never even knew about till I became a webcam model. Nose and neck fetishes, pegging, nipple-licking, tickle fetishes, cuckholding…the list goes on for all of eternity. One of the most common questions I get pertaining to different kinks/fetishes is, “Am I normal?” to which the answer is almost always YES.

As long as you’re not harming anyone or doing anything illegal, nor is your freaky side actually interfering with your day-to-day life, then fucking ENJOY it! Life is meant to be lived, and sex is JUST as normal as the need to eat and sleep.

The fact of the matter is that if there is a higher power, I can promise you I know this much: Nobody gives a fuck in this life or the next as to what you enjoy sexually here on earth. Again, speaking from a place of you’re not doing anything illegal and your x-rated activities aren’t fucking up other stuff in your life.

Bubble burst!

It’s not the place of any one human (or many) to dictate or judge how other grown adults should live their lives, no matter what anyone says. That’s just some made up fuckery from centuries ago that humans started so they could have power and control over others. So the moral of this story here is: Get your fucking freak on and put your blinders ALL THE WAY UP to anyone with a “holier than though” attitude when it comes to sex. You’re welcome.

 

2. Porn sex is VERY different from sex at home. 

Yes, I do wild shit on the internet, but my sex life at home is more on the vanilla and passionate end of the spectrum. And I LOVE it. The difference is that coming from the world of porn, I have a VERY open mind when it comes to sex, so I wouldn’t cringe or get weirded out if my partner wanted to do something we don’t normally do. And I would highly likely be down to give it a shot, because why the fuck not?! Life is meant to be lived!

But those wild positions you see, where women are sucking dick upside down while the guy holds their ankles, taking a hard pounding in the ass for an hour straight, the stepfamily taboo craziness…that’s reserved for the small screen (especially the latter. lol). It’s all fantasy by adult actors, for adults at home to enjoy. That’s it. Just like video games and movies you would see on the big screen.

 

3. Every adult watches porn. 

Yes, there are always exceptions to the rule. This is a super generic statement, but it’s also TRUE. I’ve had newer girls in the industry tell me they didn’t think anyone would ever find out they did porn, which is a terrible mindset to have. EVERYONE ALWAYS FINDS OUT because EVERYONE WATCHES PORN.

I’ve heard stories of women in the adult biz going out to public places, living their life and minding their own business, only to be called shit like “Slut” by other people nearby. But what would lead those people to believe that to be true? The level of fucked up of doing that to ANYONE aside…IT’S BECAUSE THEY’VE SEEN THEM IN A FUCKING PORNO. BECAUSE THEY WERE AT HOME WATCHING. *Palm in face*

The hypocrisy is so, so real. This has also led me to give absolutely zero fucks about what anyone has to say about porn, (aside from just not giving a flying fuck about what people think in general), but also because I know for damn sure the odds are, said person WATCHES PORN. Therefore, hypocrite. Therefore, someone who has seriously convoluted viewpoints and values and is not to be taken seriously, and certainly deserves NONE of my energy.

 

4. All bodies are different. 

Pre-porn, I was self-conscious of parts of my bod just like anyone else. After seeing SO many different humans (especially fellow females) in the nude, I’ve learned that mainstream beauty standards are fucking stupid and also just trends (just like fast fashion), and to NOT follow them unless I truly felt aligned with whatever enhancement I was considering. Plastic surgery is absofuckinglutely fine (lord knows I’ve had my fair share) but after spending so much time in the adult biz, and seeing SO many gorgeous women of all different shapes and sizes and body types, I’ve learned that beauty IS truly in the eye of the beholder.

Experiencing this helped me SO much in becoming confident and comfortable in my own skin, as ME. Not a weird version of someone else. And, when you’ve been naked in front of millions and millions of humans, it’s a sense of empowerment and liberation that is unexplainable. The world has seen you at your most vulnerable, and you’ve seen the truth firsthand of how real bodies of real sex symbols actually look (ALL different), you realize that just being YOU is enough. I no longer compare myself to others wishing I looked a certain way the way I used to back in the day.

 

5. The best sex is with someone you love. 

Cliché? Maybe. Cheesy? Maybe. Do I care? Please see #3. My house, my thoughts! This is what I know to be true. I’ve done some wild shit, but literally NOTHING compares to sex with someone you love and have a strong emotional connection with. The key is to be present, communicate, and find your right-for-you balance of giving and receiving. If you wanna try freaky shit, do it with someone you love. It’s WAY more fun that way.

 

What else do you want me to share about? What else do you want to know? Comment below or tweet me.

 

xo, alix

Ask AL: Fetish Q’s and IG Models

 

 

Dear Alix, 

 

  1. I know you’ve seen some crazy shit in your day. What are the strangest fetishes you’ve encountered. Actually, name 10. Please. 

 

Oh fetishes, how I adore thee! You are indeed correct. I have for SURE been exposed to, welp, pretty much anything and everything that exists as a fetish so needless to say, it takes a whole lot to sway me.

Maybe that’s why my personality falls on the chill end of the spectrum. Like, when you’ve done shit like spend a whole day bouncing on giant balloons wearing lingerie until they pop and that’s your job, it’s hard to take much in life too seriously, ya know?

And at this point, there’s not much I consider “strange” anymore, but these are for sure the top kinks that threw me OFF when I first encountered them. Get ya popcorn ready, bb’s. 

 

  1. Messy. No, not my bedroom after a long day of wardrobe changes. I mean like literally rolling around in, oh, food. Like pudding and banana cream pie. Mind you, this is not something I’ve ever DONE personally, and I seriously doubt I ever will. Too much going on and just not for me. I don’t need pie chillin in every orifice of my body, thank you very much. HOWEVER I did once get a booking request for this from a company, which I politely declined. Do me a favor and Google it later. You’re welcome. 
  2. Nose Measurement. As in, sitting in front of a camera with measuring tape, holding it up to one’s nose and sharing the measurements of every part of it you can think of. That, and sharing every single detail about one’s nose. Like, how smooth the bridge is. How it’s slightly upturned. The list goes on. I once did a 30 minute custom video that involved precisely this. That was it. Also, I was fully clothed. I’m pretty proud of myself for never once running out of things to say. *shrugs*
  3. Toe Spreading. It’s like…a subcategory of a foot fetish. Bare feet, soles dead center in front of the camera, and spreading toes. I’ve had a handful of these customs. 
  4. Armpit Shaving. Enough said. 
  5. Fur Coat. (I use faux, obvs). Basically just wearing lingerie and a (faux) fur coat, describing in tremendous detail how fabulous and luxurious it feels on my bare skin. 
  6. Crossed Legs. Picture a woman with toned calves wearing 6-inch heels. Pretty hot, right? So the whole fetish is just walking back and forth and stopping every 30 seconds or so to cross and uncross my legs at the ankles and sloooowly rub my hands up and down them. Bonus points if it’s in a classy LBD (little black dress). 
  7. Muscle Worship. Picture this: I’m standing in front of the camera, describing my biceps in great detail, caressing them and to top it all off, kissing them. And that’s it. 
  8. Being Stuck. This was one of the first-ever fetishes I was exposed to, back in 2012 when I was a cam girl. It’s all about seeing legs kicking back and forth, and the owner of said legs saying “Help me, help me! I’m stuck!” You know that scene in Mean Girls when Lindsay Lohan is walking down the hall with The Plastics, and she suddenly trips and falls upside down in the garbage can with only her legs sticking out, kicking back and forth? That’s it. When I did a private cam show involving this fetish, I thought quickly on my feet and took out the clothes from my hamper, threw a pillow in for cushion, and dove in headfirst. 
  9. Pedal Pumping. Picture this: A high-heeled foot stepping on the gas pedal of a parked car, and then releasing the pressure. Repeatedly. 
  10. Balloon B2P, or “Bounce to Pop.” Not to be confused with regular ol’ balloon bouncing. (In my experience the balloon B2P fans tend get REALLY upset when the balloon doesn’t pop, so these are not to be confused). I once had a custom video client send me a bunch of MASSIVE balloons and an air pump to blow up in my living room (mind you, the preparation process was also part of the custom video this was for), and then proceed to bouncing on them in lingerie until all of them popped. All in a day’s work!

 

  1. What’s your stance on a guy you’re dating who is constantly following Instagram models and liking their posts every day? Should I be worried?

 

Rest easy, lovebug. Unless he’s actively being a weirdo and doing stuff like leaving consistent comments on their pics and DMing these chicks, being one of THOSE guys (in which case, RUN!!), you’re good.

It’s a fantasy thing. Like, do you like looking at a sexy chiseled man on the ‘gram? It’s like that.

I can certainly admire how fine Zayn Malik is all the livelong day, but I would never consider sliding into his DMs. Hello, he’s clearly taken. (and how HOT is that couple?! I die). 

Like, you KNOW you would never actively start sliding into these dudes’ DMs trying to arrange a meetup while you’re in what I’m assuming is an exclusive relationship. You’re just enjoying the view.

I don’t think it’s totally necessary to hit the “LIKE” button on a random stranger’s photo (like seriously, what does that even accomplish?) but I also don’t see what harm it does to admire eye candy from afar.

I say pick your battles. It’s very VERY VERY likely that’s as far as it’s ever gonna go. And if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Find a slew of hot dudes on Insta and start liking their pics daily. 

Have fun! 😉

xo, al