xo, alix

alix lynx, unhinged

My Biggest Mental Health Game Changers

 

 

Up until four or so years ago, I knew about mental health and how important it was, but I figured I was fine and didn’t need to manage my own. I mean, technically, I never had any sort of mental health disorder. I’ve always been super disciplined, so I figured me just getting up daily, working out, eating right, working, and overall living my life was good enough.

That is, until I really started elevating my entire approach to wellness (which was right around the time I began exploring my spiritual side), where I began recognizing that every part of me is connected.  I began recognizing in meditation that my thoughts were just thoughts and weren’t true unless I decided to make them so. I began noticing when I would have negative thoughts and questioning them, then deciding to release them and replace them with brand new, better-feeling thoughts. I basically learned how to control my mindset, and became really good at it. Which, by the way, literally anyone can do if you commit yourself to doing it daily and integrating it into your life. 

In doing this consistently, I slowly began to change as a person. I became more calm and less reactive. I became more confident. I became more in tune with myself and really learned how to listen to and trust my own intuition over anyone else’s opinions. I became more certain of my own beliefs and values, and became crystal clear on who I wanted to be and what I wanted my life to look like. I became more equipped to be able to enter an annoying situation, like dealing with flaky ass people cancelling last minute on shoots, and rather than getting pissed and letting it ruin my day, adopting the knowledge that it was just one thing that happened that had nothing to do with me, releasing my frustration, and instead deciding to pivot immediately and change my plans.

On my journey to become a true master of my own mindset, I also learned stuff like removing and rearranging my limiting beliefs and old stories around areas like my work schedule, finances, setting boundaries with other people, feeling really comfortable saying “no” without worrying about upsetting someone else, and that everything I need to create, say, do, and/or bring to life is already within me. Yes, this shit goes deep.

Like I said, literally anyone can do this with daily, consistent practice. I wasn’t born wired this way. I taught myself how to be this way.

Here are some of my favorite tools and tactics for mastering my mindset and drastically improving the state of my mental health:

  • Meditating. I meditate every single day, often for five minutes at a time. I’ve heard people say “I don’t have time for that,” which is a. An excuse, because everyone has five minutes to spare and b. A cop out, because what’s the alternative? Keep living life with a chaotic brain, spinning your wheels? Meditating isn’t this big scary thing. It’s literally just sitting down and zoning out, focusing on only your breathing, and learning how to quiet your mind. Because it’s in that state in which your subconscious can release all the wonders it’s been holding on to, that you, in your normal day-to-day state, drown out with all the internal mental chatter and random thought loops. Meditating is now something I can’t live without. It’s like an instant “reset” for your brain. I like to do it first thing in the morning while my mind is still fresh and to set the tone for the rest of my day. Just Google “five minute meditation,” or even just play ambient sounds, and do it.

 

  • Getting intentional about what I consume. The world we live in now is so fast paced. We’re bombarded on the daily with ads, social media feeds, news…just a fuck ton of information to the point where it’s overload. Not only that, but whether we notice or not, we are actually consuming and processing this. So, for example, if there’s someone on your social media feed who complains all day every day, mute that shit. If you’re scrolling Instagram and see someone with a sick house and sick outfit and seemingly amazing life, but you’re not at the place where you can feel happy for them and instead feel bad about yourself, mute that shit. If you’re constantly watching the news, or if it’s even playing in the background of your day-to-day all day, you are absorbing all of that negativity whether you know it or not, and it is affecting you. If you’re constantly reading celebrity gossip magazines, the lives of other people are constantly going to be occupying your head space rent-free. I do this with literally everything in my life, from who I follow on socials to what I watch on TV to the material I read. It all counts. I only choose to follow/read/listen to content that uplifts and/or inspires me.

 

  • Limit my screen time. Even though the majority of my work does require me to spend time on my phone and/or online, I’m still as intentional as possible about this. As in, if I’m posting on Instagram, I’ll post what I have to post, spend a few minutes engaging with other accounts and my followers, then I get the fuck off. I spent many years spending way too much time online, just hustling hard, sharing my content everywhere, checking for feedback nonstop…until I realized just how unnecessary and detrimental it was. I’m intentional about my screen time and make sure I’m using it for the right reasons, and I don’t spend any more time on there than necessary because that takes away from me actually living my real life, in real time.

 

  • More proactivity, less reactivity. I am not a slave to emails, texts, phone calls, etc. I have a personal filtering process that I use to screen stuff like texts. If they’re from certain important people in my life and/or they require an immediate response, I respond. If not, it can wait. My text inbox typically has 50+ unread messages. I think it’s incredibly invasive for people to assume that if they text me then I’ll respond immediately. I’m not on call. I’ll get to them when I get to them. It’s nothing personal. It’s that I literally cannot function at the level of productivity I need if I’m spending all my time reacting to messages. I answer my emails maybe twice a week. And wouldn’t you know, everything continues to ebb and flow smoothly. If I were constantly reacting to any and all messages that came my way, I would constantly be thrown out of my groove and be far less productive.

 

  • Journaling. Writing for me is extremely therapeutic. Near daily, I’ll open my journal and just write whatever comes out without filtering or editing myself. For me, this is a way to take all the chaos that’s swirling around in my brain and get it out onto paper so that I can actually see it. It’s a way for me to organize my thoughts and get clarity around my inner workings.

 

  • Therapy. I’ve been doing near-weekly therapy sessions for the past year and a half or so, and it’s been a game changer. Sometimes I’ll go a few weeks without it, but I find it’s been extremely helpful to me as far as getting an unbiased opinion/guidance from a trained professional on my life to help guide me in the right direction. We all have blind spots. Therapy has helped me be able to pull back the curtain on mine, and recognize stuff like behavioral patterns that I can change so I can show up to my own life better.

 

  • Hobbies. As in, doing stuff just for fun without trying to monetize it. For me, this has been a challenge because as someone who’s in business for herself, I never really “shut off.” But I’ve found that stuff like this blog, where I can at least share it with others, has been a super rewarding hobby for me. Other hobbies I’ve found I really enjoy are stuff like hiking + doing outdoor activities, playing games, dance class, doodling…basically just  fun stuff simply for the sake of pleasure. This not only brings me joy and allows my brain to shut off while I live fully in the moment, but giving myself time to do this stuff also means that I show up to my life refreshed, recharged, and in a far better headspace than if I were to just work nonstop with no breaks.

I’ve ultimately realize that it’s been in the small (but consistent), day-to-day changes I’ve made in my life that really add up over time and have ultimately made a huge impact, for the better, on the state of my mental health. All it takes is deciding to take it one moment, one day at a time, because it’s from the present that the future is created.

 

New Year, New Slate

 

 

My god has it been a HOT minute since I’ve written anything on here.

My intention with this blog was always to write when I felt inclined to write. As in, it’s essentially my hobby. It’s a thing I do because writing has always been something I’ve loved to do since I was a small human. When I’m writing, I lose myself and the words just flow. Plus, I like to help people by sharing my own stories, my own insights, my own lessons that I’m learning, etc.

I think we often forget that what comes naturally to us doesn’t come so naturally to others. I think we often underestimate our ability to have a positive impact on the world and inspire others. I think we often forget just how incredible and special each of us truly is.

Anyways, I’m BACK! And it feels really, REALLY good.

I want to share some updates with you pertaining to my own life, my own headspace, and where I’m at in the world.

While I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions, I do believe that the new year symbolizes hitting the “refresh” button on life. It’s a clean slate. I certainly feel this way right now.

I look back on 2021 and wonder where the actual hell the time went. It FLEW, right?!? Which, to me, indicates that time, especially in adulthood, seems to pass by so, so quickly. This also serves as a reminder to me that if you want to start something, whether it’s a project, hobby, business endeavor, whatever…there is truly no  perfect timing. You just gotta START, and figure it out along the way. Just like there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship or perfection in day to day life. You spill your coffee on the floor. You wake up at 6am and immediately have to clean up dog poop in the living room, un-caffeinated. (Literally my day yesterday, yum!) You realize you forgot to pay a medical bill that got lost in the mail. Life is a beautiful, imperfect experience.

For me, 2022 symbolizes deep commitment. To my peace of mind. To showing up for myself, even when I don’t feel like it because it’s in my best interest (annoying middle of the day doctor’s appointments, anyone?!) To doing my morning stretches even when I just feel like sitting at the kitchen table, sipping coffee and staring off into space. To bringing anything that I’ve got brewing in me, like new business endeavors and projects, travel ideas, home decor ideas, whatever, to life.

People often ask me how I stay so motivated. My response to that is that I don’t. I’m absolutely not motivated every day. What I am, however, is disciplined. I know that through consistent, repetitive action steps towards what I want in my life (stuff like a thriving business, loving relationship, financial freedom, solid friendships and family ties, a long, healthy life) that I will reap the benefits tomorrow with the seeds I plant today. That’s my “big secret” to staying “motivated.” 😉

Does staying disciplined like this get mundane sometimes? Sure. Do I sometimes have frustrating days where I’m on hold with an airline for 2 hours and then get cut off, which makes me want to go live in a tree in the middle of the forest with no technology? You bet. Do I sometimes just not want to do life at all in the morning, and instead lay in my cozy bed all day swaddled in fuzzy blankets watching Sex and the City reruns? Hell yes.

But I don’t, because I’m committed to myself and my life and making my corner of the universe as incredible as possible.

In addition, I’ve also noticed a massive expansion within myself mentally.

I’m noticing myself becoming…softer. Being more comfortable with being vulnerable. Becoming even more empathetic to others, even when they’re being annoying. Being more loving in general, and expressing that. Still being extra and loving getting glammed up and dressing cute, but simultaneously recognizing the value in becoming more focused on making sure I’m just as beautiful on the inside as the outside. Envisioning myself with a family of my own one day. Finding happiness and joy in the little day-to-day things, like taking my dog outside and watching her bound about in the snow like a baby lamb. Is this what growing up is? If so, I’m here for it.

I’m beyond excited for what this year will bring.

Thank you for being here with me on this journey that we call life.

xo, alix

Mental Health Matters – We Can’t Do It All Alone

 

 

Mental health. I know this has been the focus of a lot of conversations, especially this past year with most of us having our lives turned upside down in some way or another. And that’s a good thing. Continuing the conversation, keeping it alive, keeping it flowing, helps others feel comfortable and safe enough to talk about it, too. 

Everything is always a ripple effect, and especially when it comes to topics that tend to have a stigma attached to it…like, MENTAL HEALTH…speaking about it helps dissolve the fear around it. Speaking about it helps NORMALIZE it. Which is exactly why I’m writing this. 

This past year was the first time in my life that I got a therapist. Before that (even though I definitely could have benefitted from one since, well, BIRTH) I just thought that a therapist wasn’t something I needed. That I was strong enough to handle life without help. That I could process all my shit by myself and be fine. 

And yes, much of that is true. I’m fully committed to a lifetime of daily personal growth and development. Daily self-improvement. Daily learning. Daily upleveling of myself and my life. I read a fuckload of self-help books. I listen to podcasts. I journal. I work with business coaches. I do more non traditional shit like psychedelics. I’m spiritual AF and believe in a higher power, which I believe guides me through my day to day. Needless to say I do a LOT for myself to make sure I’m actively being the best version of me I can possibly be, and contributing to the world every day in the best way that I can. 

I consider myself to be a really, really strong person. I’ve been through a LOT in my life. I’ve dealt with a lot of scary stuff and bullshit and come out the other side of it all strong as fuck. 

But even though that’s true, 2020 opened my eyes. A LOT. To the fact that not only is it OK to seek help, but we SHOULD seek help. Even if we don’t think we need it. 

To me, now, seeing my therapist is like any other doctor appointment. I stay on top of my teeth cleanings. I stay on top of my checkups. I stay on top of my eye exams. Why the fuck would I neglect my MENTAL HEALTH?! 

I mean, the state of my inner being…the state of my mental state…is what’s guiding me through day to day life. 

When my mental health is clogged up with stress, anxiety, and overall chaos that builds up from all the different circumstances that life throws at me…at all of us…I cannot possibly expect to make THE BEST decisions for myself from this space. 

I cannot possibly just “leave my problems at the door” because they’re STILL there when I leave. 

I cannot possibly just “brush things off” (which is what I used to do, without processing them) and expect that by doing so, my problems will magically disappear. It’s like putting a Band-Aid on a cut that keeps coming back no matter what…until I do the work to discover what’s creating that cut in the first place. 

I decided to get a therapist in 2020 because not only did I want to be able to unpack all my goings-on in a safe environment, but I also wanted to do so with a trained professional involved who could give me unbiased insight, as well as the tools and resources necessary to process them. 

Of course, talking it out with friends helps, too, but I also didn’t want to be unloading all my issues onto the same handful of people all the time. 

While I did part ways with my original therapist from last year, I just found a new one who I really like and who I’m going to keep around for the foreseeable future. I just think it’s really, really important to have help when it comes to unpacking and processing whatever it is that’s happening in my life, working through it, and moving forward. 

I truly believe that EVERYONE can benefit from therapy. I no longer believe that therapy is for people with “big problems.” I mean, who am I to say what’s a big problem and what’s not, anyways? We all live different lives. What one person might consider a “big problem,” the next person might find it to be trivial. And it’s ALL OKAY. We are ALL on different paths. We are ALL experiencing life at a different pace, through different lenses of experience and worldviews. 

Therapy has already helped me SO much, and I look forward to spending a lifetime maintaining my mental health by consistently showing up for myself at my appointments and doing the work. Just like going to my physician’s, dentist, (or hell, even my Botox!) I am making my therapy sessions just as important. And normal. 

P.S. If you’re thinking about seeing a therapist, I currently use Better Help. I love this app because it matches you with the best therapist for you and what you need help with, and gives you a bunch of different ways to communicate, whether it’s via text, phone or video chat. It’s been a game changer for me <3 

xo, alix