xo, alix

alix lynx, unhinged

This is What I Would Tell Any Woman Looking to Get Into Adult Work

 

 

First off, let me preface this by assuming that by reading this, you are at least 18 years old. If you’re not, stop what you’re doing and exit out of this post. And if you are at least 18, keep on reading.

I’ve been in the adult entertainment business since 2012, where I started off as a webcam model and started doing full-on scenes in 2014. Looking back, I was really flying by the seat of my pants and figuring things out along the way, one day and one step at a time. My entire career has been this way, and I’ve not only had a fuckload of real-life, firsthand experience in the ‘biz, but I’ve also been fortunate enough to receive some incredibly kickass advice from industry veterans who believe in paying it forward just as much as I do.

Because when you get into the business (when I say “business” here, I’m primarily speaking to women who want to be an adult film star, and/or want to be an Onlyfans/fan site model producing adult content)…nobody tells you anything. Like, you will learn along the way. If you ask enough of the right people, you’ll gather a ton of valuable wisdom, tools and tips to take with you throughout your career. But it still shocks the hell out of me when I chat with random ladies online and hear stuff like, “I just want to make quick money online and not have anybody find out,” or “Onlyfans is easy money, all I have to do is get naked and people will pay big”…etc. (Neither of these are generally true, P.S.).

Here’s my best advice for women who are seriously considering getting into the adult entertainment industry. I’m neither advocating for it, nor am I telling you not to do it. Take this info and do with it what you will. Because the way I see it? Knowledge is power and it’s always best to be as informed as possible, especially before making such a big life-changing decision. 

  • Everyone you know will find out. Literally everyone. You know why? Because most people watch porn, regardless of how prudish they may seem in real life. Trust me, most people are fucking freaks in one way or another behind closed doors. It’s human nature! In 2020, Pornhub reported the site got 130 million hits PER DAY. Your family. Your friends. Your elementary school teacher. Your old soccer coach. Your coworkers from that fast food place you worked at in high school. In the Information Age, aka the world we’re living in right now where everyone and their great grandmothers are using the internet, it’s never a matter of if these people will find out, but when. Plan accordingly. 

 

  • Your entire life will be affected forever. Now, this isn’t a bad thing or a good thing. It just is. It’s 2022. Lots of people have sex tapes. Lots of people have Onlyfans. I personally think people are more open minded now when it comes to sex than ever before. Like, helloooo…it’s the reason why we all exist. You gotta pause and think about what you want your life to look like in 5, 10, 15 years from now. If you plan on doing porn and then being a school teacher, it’s not going to happen. If, however, you plan on doing adult work, stacking your cash, investing it, opening businesses, having rental properties, etc…basically taking full control over your future, that’s a completely different story.

 

  • There is stigma. The funny thing about this is, people in the adult industry are, for the most part, pretty fucking great. They’re open minded, non judgmental, secure with themselves, and are just overall cool humans. The stigma and weird judgy-ness doesn’t come from this crowd. It comes from other people (“civilians,” as performers call people who aren’t in the industry). People who have weird ass, convoluted views on sex and sexuality. People who grow up in environments that say sex is bad and carry that baggage with them through adulthood. People who are insecure over empowered women making a living off of the body they were born with while they slave away at a shitty desk job they hate. The list goes on. That said, while stigma does exist, it really depends who you’re involved with. Personally, I don’t fuck with anyone who’s weird and judgy like this. And if I happen to encounter it in my life, I don’t take it personally, because I know that other people’s opinions on this matter are not only usually false (so many people think porn sets are coke-fueled orgies when they’re wildly mundane and professional), but also come from their own limiting beliefs they’re projecting outwards that have literally nothing to do with me.

 

  • You have to treat it like a business. Assuming you’re going into this to be a model and earn a living vs. exploring your exhibitionist side as a fun hobby, it’s crucial that you treat it as a business. That means that not only are you a model, but you’re also a business owner. That means you have to learn the ins and outs of what it means to own and operate your own business. Everything from creating a corporation to keeping your financials organized to filing your taxes to marketing…it’s on you. I strongly suggest you put in the work early on and learn the ins and outs of each aspect of your business before hiring people to help you (aside from an accountant, and even then, you still need to pay attention to what they’re doing) so you’re not blindly trusting other people with your livelihood. This is also a good idea so that you can eventually train people in the systems you like best, because when you get busy with stuff like creating content and engaging with fans on fan sites, it’s nearly impossible to do everything yourself…and is also a recipe for burnout. For example, I have a virtual assistant who helps me keep track of my clothing auction site to make sure items are always being relisted, new items are being uploaded, letting me know when an order has been placed that I need to ship out, etc.

 

  • It’s work. Just like literally any other job, no matter how much you love it, there will absolutely be some days where you just don’t feel like getting up and filming. You have to be disciplined enough to be able to keep promises to yourself and show up for yourself (and your fans) every single day, and do what needs to be done…whether that’s custom content, filming new content, engaging with fans, etc. I still create and follow my own schedule years later, and always will. Holding yourself accountable will always be crucial.

 

  • It can get expensive. While there is good money to be made, it takes time to get there when you’re in the building process. You’ll need money for stuff like the fees to create a corporation, have cash flow so you can pay yourself – and your taxes – properly, wardrobe, testing (if you’re working with other talent), lighting, travel (if you’re collaborating with other talent who don’t live in your area), etc.

 

  • Create as many streams of income for yourself as possible. Whether you want to be an adult entertainer for your entire life, or have a plan to get in and get out in 3 years…whatever…it’s really fucking smart to take advantage of any and all money-making opportunities that align with you that you can create for yourself (literally just like any other business) so that you’re not just relying on one stream of income. This could include stuff like creating clip stores on sites like Manyvids ,  I Want Clips, and/or Modelhub. It could include offering your fans the option to purchase custom content from you on the above sites, or by sending you a tip on Onlyfans. It could include selling your special lingerie you wear in your scenes on a site like My Sexy Auctions. It could mean offering your fans to chat with you via phone or video call on Sext Panther.  It could mean creating a merch store. The sky is truly the limit here, but my point in all of this is that you absofuckinglutely need to have more than just one source of income coming in if you want to be able to make money off of your name while you sleep.

 

  • Mindset is everything. As an adult entertainer, you’re not only a business woman, but you’re also an artist. The lifestyle can be weird, especially if it’s not something you’re used to. It can also be incredibly lonely if you’re not living in a place like LA which is a super artist-friendly city. Stay in touch with your friends. Make new connections with other ladies in the industry and make a space for yourself in the community. Don’t compare yourself to other women in the industry. Ignore trolls and block them, letting their comments slide right off of you. Don’t let the weird opinions of other people on your life and your work get to you, because remember, they’re based off of their own world views and life experiences and have little to do with you. Live your life in real life, not just online. Practice self care.

 

  • Stack your fucking cash. Most women I know in the industry who are still around today have gone through this phase. I sure did! You’re suddenly making more money than you’ve ever seen in your life. It can be really fucking tempting to go spend it all in one fell swoop. While I am fully on board with treating yourself (Lord KNOWS I am extra as they come)…it’s all about balance, baby! I’ve been aggressively saving and investing the past few years and let me tell you, nothing is more satisfying, empowering, and SEX to me than logging on to my bank account and investment accounts and seeing those numbers grow and grow and grow. There are few greater feelings to me than being able to pay hefty bills without getting anxiety over not having enough money left until the next pay day. BIG BANK ACCOUNTS ARE FUCKING HOT. So is learning how to properly manage your money. Put in the work. Read financial books (I HIGHLY recommend anything by Robert Kiyosaki). Read magazines like Kiplingers. Listen to financial podcasts. I took a life-changing money course that completely changed my beliefs and views on money, taught by a super cool chick who just gets my vibe. This seems super boring at first, but remember…I’m a fake titty blonde chick who loves Sephora, Starbucks, spray tans, false lashes and pink. If I can fucking handle it, so can you. The worst thing you can do is blindly give your money to someone else to manage. That’s the lazy way out. Boss ass bitches do the work and stack their cash.

 

I LOVE sharing my own insight and resources for other ladies in the business to use. Was this helpful for you? What more do you want to learn from me? Comment this post with your questions, suggestions, etc.

 

xo, alix

 

Sh*t to Do in Your 20’s so Your Life is Awesome

 

 

I VIVIDLY remember going to college, graduating, and being thrown into the real world, real quick. I got my first “grown up” job (clearly that life was NOT for me) and went about figuring my shit out. I’ve had a rebellious streak since, well, day one of my existence, and always been hell-bent on creating my coolest, most awesome, fun life possible. and THANK GOD FOR THAT.

Because without this tenacity and out-of-the-box way of doing life (I’ve ALWAYS been one to take risks, be ballsy and go after what I want) ingrained in me that came from god knows where, I would be one miserable motherfucker, probably still letting my soul die slowly every day at my desk job.

ICK.

But even with my personality and way of doing life being what it is, I STILL had a rude awakening after graduating. Point blank, I felt like I had been sold this LIE. I had spent years working my ass off to get this degree, was working on another degree, and was working at a desk job doing mundane work that I DID learn a lot in, but was still super boring. All I could think was, “Holy FUCK. I can’t believe THIS is this life I signed up for…for the next 40 or so years. FUCK this shit. There has to be more for me out there.”

Canadian Studies and Math B were NOT going to help me figure out how to make money on my own, let alone figure out how to invest it, do my taxes, or start a corporation.

I was determined to figure all of this out and would be damned if I had to spend the rest of my life sitting at a desk working for someone else. So, I did…thanks to endless brain-picking of successful entrepreneurs I knew as well as one of my BFFs, Google.

Here’s all the shit I figured out and started in my 20’s to set myself up for a lifetime of fun, financial security and freedom over my own schedule…and LIFE..

 

  • Start a retirement account. NOW. I opened my first Roth IRA at 22 because I knew I should. Did I know what the fuck I was doing? HELL NO. I stumbled around in the dark and slowly figured my shit out along the way. For a long time, all I did was deposit money and not invest. Then I started learning about investing. Then I started investing. The point is…just START. Even if you’re just putting $20 a week in. Even if you’re just putting $40 a month in. JUST. START. Be consistent with it. Commit to learning about investing. I am the LAST person I thought would be interested in investing (I used to think it was super fucking crusty and boring, but it’s actually REALLY FUN to see your dollars multiply)! I read books. I subscribe to Kiplinger’s. I read blog articles. I listen to podcasts. There’s literally no way around educating yourself about money. Either you do it or you stick your head in the sand and emerge 10 years later to be broke as fuck. Your call. 

 

  • Start stacking cash. Just like above. This is something I DIDN’T do for a while – I moved around a lot in an expensive city. I had a lot of expenses. I was putting my cash back into my businesses (which IS investing in myself for the long haul, but it’s still important to have extra cash). This shit ALL adds up. I make it REALLY easy for myself: I use the Digit and Acorns apps to automatically pull money out of my accounts each week. I also have my payroll take out a certain amount each time I’m paid and it goes to a separate bank account. I also have autodrafts on another account that goes to ANOTHER bank account that I don’t touch. This makes it an efficient AF and a literal NO-BRAINER, and let me tell you, it is SO motherfucking satisfying to see those numbers grow…and grow…and grow. People are weird about money, as I once was, but there is nothing noble about being broke. Don’t you WANT to live in your dream house? Drive your dream car? Look your best? Feed yourself the best of the best food? Have a cash reserve for when you have surprise random bills that come up, like the rock that went through my windshield last week? You can’t do that if you’re broke. And how good does it feel to have cash in your account? You feel like shit when you don’t. And once again, it doesn’t matter HOW much you save. Just START. Trust me…it WILL add up.

 

  • If you want to do something, just start. When I restarted my life to move cross-country from NY to LA in 2014 to do adult film, I had an agent and a place to stay in LA. That was IT. I started filming. My scenes were NOT good. When I first got on YouTube and was trying to find myself and figure out what kind of content to produce, my vids were NOT good. When I first got into my music project, the shit we would put out was NOT good. My point here is, if you REALLY want to start something, whether you dream of being an “influencer,” coach, actor, whatever…just own the fact that you’re going to fucking suck for a while. It’s going to be a lot of work with little reward for a while. Sometimes years. You either want it or you don’t. Stick with it and eventually you WILL get your momentum. You WILL get good. You WILL make it all happen. But you HAVE to have an attitude of “I’ll do whatever the fuck it takes to get to where I want to go,” and NEVER quit. There’s no shortcut. But would you rather create your dream life, or stick to what your friends and family think is a safe, “practical” (EW) job with a steady schedule and salary…even though you want to gouge your own eyes out every day? Both paths are challenging. Pick one.

 

  • Get comfortable being alone. I’ve been an introverted extrovert since…forever. As in, I fucking LOVE people, but I also LOVE being by myself. I love reading, writing, and just being quiet and cozy. Some people HATE this. As an adult, you’ll have bouts of time where you’re alone with your thoughts. You’re not in school anymore, so you’re not constantly surrounded by your peers. You can’t AVOID it. Plus, you should be your own best friend. So just wade through the uncomfortable-ness, one day at a time. I also found that the more time I spent by myself, working ON myself (doing shit like reading, listening to podcasts, just LEARNING) I grew to trust my own intuition over anything or anyone else. As in, I stopped asking people for their opinions on shit. I started making my own decisions…confidently. And there is NO better feeling in the world than knowing that you 100% have your own back at all times. Of course, you NEED help from other people. We’re not meant to do life fully ALONE. Everyone has different life experiences and areas of expertise. What I’m getting at here is to just get comfortable being alone with your own thoughts, and entertaining yourself. And, if you’re an artist and/or entrepreneur, this is double crucial. Quadruple crucial, even. Because this is also the place from where your best work and ideas will be born. 

 

  • Outsourcing shit you don’t wanna do. We only have X amount of time in each day. Sure, you technically CAN spend hours at the grocery store, cooking meals, cleaning your house…but do you really WANT to be doing that? Don’t you want to spend your time not working on more fun stuff? (unless this stuff IS fun for you). Even when I was making peanuts, I would still get my groceries delivered and split a house cleaning with my roommates so I could spend my free time ENJOYING myself. Now, of course, I’m a boss lady and genuinely LOVE to work, so I spend my time working and earning money and outsource as much shit as possible to other people. Life is meant to be enjoyed, so don’t spend your time doing stuff that’s mundane and annoying. Working smarter vs. harder and creating jobs for other people…yes, please.

 

  • Don’t buy shit you can’t afford. I remember when I was 18 and got my first credit card, which I promptly maxed out at Abercrombie and Fitch, spending it like a gift card. Then I forgot about it and it took me years to get my credit score un-fucked. Debt isn’t BAD. It’s neutral. And credit cards are a good thing to use. I also never learned ANYTHING about using credit cards, or financial management growing up. But racking up a fuckload of debt on your credit card just to buy material shit that’s cool in the moment and getting overwhelmed and freaking out over the balance…NOT THE VIBE. I pay my credit card off every week now, and set monthly spend limits for myself to keep myself on track. AKA….just be responsible. If you’re treating yourself to something fabulous to reward yourself for crushing it at work, and you spend from a place of knowing you will pay it off…that’s one thing. If you’re out having shopping sprees because you’re using shopping to fill a void that could be remedied with a creative outlet or fun hobby (BEEN THERE), that’s another. Nothing is hotter than feeling good around how you handle your money…and a big bank account to boot. 

 

  • Get serious about your self care. In your 20s, you can get by with little sleep, eating crap, and it doesn’t show on the outside…yet. But eventually, it does. Think of your body like a Ferrari. You get ONE Ferrari to take care of to get you through life. If you don’t drive the Ferrari, it’ll rust. If you put shitty fuel in your Ferrari, it won’t run NEARLY as well as if you use Premium. You get it. And if you don’t, what I mean here is take care of your body. Get your 8 hours of sleep. Start a fitness regime NOW. Start eating well and fueling your body with real, nourishing food NOW. Done right, you’ll feel like you’re aging in reverse when you’re in your 30’s and beyond. I seriously look and feel better at 31 than I EVER did in my 20s. It gets WAY more challenging the older you get, with more responsibilities piling on right and left, to get a grip on this shit. Getting to a point where self care becomes a crucial, non-negotiable, no-brainer part of your existence makes it REALLY fucking easy for you to stick with it for life.

You’re the only one who’s in charge of you.

You’re the only one who’s responsible for the kind of life you create…and the kind of person you become.

Set yourself up for a lifetime of maximum awesomeness early on makes it all one big non-negotiable no-brainer…for life.

And trust me, if I can do all of this…so can you.

 

No excuses.

 

xo, alix