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May 22, 2020

THE MAGIC IS IN CHOOSING NOW (PT 2)

 

 

 

Ok so, story time. 

For me, during the holiday season this past year, I made a bunch of teeny tiny little choices involving Grandma’s cookies, assorted candy and big home-cooked meals. Every single day. For a month. 

So it was really no surprise when I woke up one day and realized that my pants were tight AF. I took a good look in the mirror and realized that I had added just a bit of fluff to my small bod. Holiday bulk, baby! 

So I decided that, instead of beating myself up, I would choose to have a handful of grapes after dinner instead of 2 cookies, if I were craving something sweet, day after day. 

I decided that I would, every moment I felt hunger pangs, drink water first and wait ten minutes before eating to make sure I was truly hungry and not just dehydrated. 

I decided that I would remove the bowl of cereal I had been snacking on every night before bed from the equation.

ONE. DAY. AT. A. TIME. 

So it was also no surprise to me that, 2 weeks later, I realized that the holiday fluff had lessened tremendously. 

I decided on what I wanted. I chose to be present with every single moment and every single decision I made.

And all of those teeny tiny decisions gained momentum from one another, eventually leading up to the big change I was seeking.

But instead of keeping my eyes on (and becoming all-consumed by) the prize, AKA “I’ll allow myself to feel less self-conscious when I get rid of this extra fluff on my stomach,” I decided to make the healthiest choices I possibly could and take the best care of myself I possibly could, doing the best I can with every moment, knowing that being present with the process would eventually lead to my destination. 

All it takes is a simple shift of perspective. You know the saying that goes something along the lines of, “It’s about the journey, not the destination?”

It’s fucking true. 

And yeah, the destination is always fabulous, too. There are few greater feelings in life than FINALLY reaching what you’ve worked so long and hard to reach.

When you get there, please do celebrate. Make sure to take time to honor yourself and all the hard work you’ve put in and all that you’ve accomplished. 

In fact, make that a priority. You SHOULD celebrate all your achievements! 

But you should also never discredit the importance of the journey. If you’re anything like me, you tend to want to hit “fast forward” and your default mode is to get into that hyper-focused space where you WILL get to be happy…as long as you work hard for it. 

Let me tell you, that way of thinking is ass backwards and untrue. TRUST ME, BECAUSE I LIVED MY LIFE THAT WAY FOR 28 YEARS. I know a thing or two about this. 

True joy is not somewhere far off into the future. It’s in the now. All you have is RIGHT NOW. 

And truth be told, you don’t even know for sure how long your “NOW” will last. None of us do. 

Wouldn’t you rather find happiness and comfort where you are? As in, LIVE your life?

And if you’re not happy and comfortable where you are in life, that’s fine. That means you’re being guided in the direction where you WILL be happy and comfortable.

That also means that you’ve got to CHOOSE every single day to find ways to be a better version of yourself; to celebrate your achievements; to move steps closer to your goals while enjoying how far you’ve come and how much you’re learning. 

Like, if you want to get rich, you’re not going to wake up tomorrow having learned how to do so through magical dreamland osmosis. It means you’re going to have to DECIDE that that’s your priority and COMMIT yourself to learning about how to make and keep and invest money every single day.

You have to choose that RIGHT NOW you are going to do the best you can and listen to that hour long personal finance podcast. Let’s say you do that for a month straight. That’s 30 hours of financial knowledge you just gained. 

ALL THAT ACTION ADDS UP. (AS LONG AS YOU ACT ON IT). 

FROM BEING PRESENT WHERE YOU ARE. 

MOMENT. TO. MOMENT. 

 

 

All the little moments in life? They’re the big moments. They all matter. Every choice you make. It ALL adds up. 

Choose to be miserable until you’re happy and you will never TRULY be happy. 

It’s not a switch you can (or SHOULD) flip. 

The way to GET to your destination is by BEING PRESENT WHERE YOU ARE and making the best choices you possibly can in this exact moment. 

The true magic in life, where all your best creations and ideas come forth? Those happen when you choose to BE where you are. It all flows. 

It’s not supposed to be hard. We’re not supposed to struggle and be miserable 24/7. What kind of a life is that? 

One that’s un-lived. 

What you focus on in life expands. If you focus on being the happiest version of you, your reality will construct itself in ways that will give you opportunities to be happy.

If you focus on how broke you are, your reality will construct itself in ways that will prove your belief that you are, indeed, broke AF.

It’s all there all the time. There’s just SO much going on around us at all times that it’s literally impossible to focus on ALL of it at once. So we see what we want to see.

We notice what we’re thinking about most often. That’s why it’s SO important to be aware of your thoughts, and understanding that just because some may be bad or wrong or negative doesn’t make them true.

They’re just thoughts.

Be aware, but only get hyper-fixated on the ones that serve you. Make this a daily practice. Integrate it into your life.

This is some real shit. 

Choose your thoughts, perspectives and actions wisely. It all matters. 

Know and understand that wherever you are right this very moment is exactly where you’re supposed to be. Choose to be present with this reality and focus on what you can do right NOW that will get you even one step closer to where you want to go.

Choose to focus on what you can do right NOW that will boost your mood, and go do that.

Choice by choice made in each present moment

Day by day, it all adds up.

 

  xo, al

Filed in: REAL TALK | By xoalynx | Leave a Comment

April 30, 2020

The Magic is in Choosing NOW (PT 1)

Untitled (3)

For many, many years, I spent my life grinding HARD.

Eyes-on-the-prize, unfaltering focus, get the fuck out of my way, nothing else matters until I get to this THING I’m working for.

The thing about me is that I LOVE to work. I am my work and my work is me. I LOVE working for myself, having freedom and control over my own time as well as showing up for my humans every single day and creating and sharing what’s on my mind and heart. That is my life. 

However, this revelation is only still relatively new. Because prior to this understanding – the one involving committing myself to showing up and doing the damn thing every single day and most importantly, being PRESENT in all that I do – I was living my life in a way that is a big, BIG no-no. 

I was putting my happiness aside for a later date. For a different time. I was giving myself permission to fully relax, be present and be happy ONLY WHEN I REACHED MY GOAL. 

Only THEN could I give myself permission to take it easy. Only THEN could I LIVE my life. Only THEN could I cut loose and watch a movie at night. Sometimes I would even reward myself with a full-on vacation. HAPPINESS LEVEL ACHIEVED! 

Yeah, it was totally fucked. 

I’ve always been an achiever. Overachiever, let’s be real. Since I was outta the womb. Seriously. I’m harder on myself than anyone else will ever be.

And I didn’t realize it then but I spent MANY years of my life just overall pretty fucked up. High strung, anxious, always going after the next thing and the next thing, not being skinny enough, not being pretty enough, eating disorders and partying out the ying yang, and low low confidence unless I achieved.

Then I would be happy and thrilled for like, a day, and it would be back to square one while I went off to the races to knock down my next THING and count down again to when I could be happy, all while filling the void in me with shit like looking forward to my next party where I could just CUT LOOSE.  

This mentality is really fucking dangerous and detrimental. It’s unhealthy. And it makes your life 1000x harder than it’s ever supposed to be. It’s completely twisted. 

I would be scared to see the person I would be now had I not snapped out of it. 

Here’s the secret for doing really dope shit with your life. And being happy. 

Be present. 

All you have right now is this very moment. All you have right now are the resources and environment that’s available to you at this precise point in time. 

Are you truly present or is your brain mindlessly chattering to itself about emptying the dishwasher later while you half- read this post while scrolling Instagram and wondering how tomorrow’s work meeting is going to go?

If you answered the latter, you’re not present. 

How can you expect to be truly happy in this moment if you’re not even IN this moment? 

Deciding that it’s OK to choose to be happy right this very moment for the simple sake of being grateful for being alive another day on this planet, being present with yourself and whatever is happening in your world…

is ALL it takes. 

Choose to attend to the details of your life RIGHT NOW and the next day and the day after that, etc..

And watch how quickly all those seemingly teeny tiny choices add up. 

xo, al

Filed in: REAL TALK, WELLNESS | By xoalynx | 1 Comment

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