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March 25, 2021

My Experience With: LSD

 

 

Before I get started, as per always, I am not condoning drug use whatsoever. I am simply sharing my own personal experience with you, and you can take this info and do with it what you wish.

I’ve microdosed LSD…aka, acid…a LOT.

I’ve taken acid…I don’t even know. 40 times or so. So I’ve had my fair share of experiences with it.

Like shrooms, which is the only other psychedelic I’ve taken, my experiences with acid have all been eye-opening. Every time I take it, I come out the other side feeling wiser, with a deeper understanding of myself and life as a whole. So, needless to say, just like shrooms, it’s also going to be a part of my life forever.

Also similar to shrooms, a full trip on acid is like running a computer virus cleaning program, but on your brain. In this case, your brain is the computer, with loads of tabs open, downloading spam, processing thousands and thousands of thoughts, often feeling overloaded and slowed down.

A day spent in a full trip on acid is like wiping the slate clean, removing ALL of that junk, and waking up the next day anew and refreshed AF.

When it comes to psychedelics, the vibe I do NOT fuck with is, “Let me take this and get really fucked up,” because for me, it’s important to have the right intentions in mind before doing them.

For me, it’s the vibe of, “I’m going to take this, have fun, and highly likely will come out the other side of this trip having fresh perspectives, new creative ideas, and a deeper understanding of life, and myself.”

In my experience, shrooms and acid have a lot of similar effects – you can read about my experience with shrooms here.

In short, it, too, is an ego dissolver.

For me, it’s a complete refresh. It re-centers me and re-reminds me of who I truly am, and what’s important in life.

I also didn’t try acid till later in life, at 29, which I’m thankful for because I don’t think I would have fully appreciated its incredible effects had I done it growing up.

In short, after I tried acid, I felt like I truly understood life.

Before I get into my latest experience, here’s the vibe I get into BEFORE ingesting it…

  • Make sure I’m in an environment that’s super comfortable. For me, most of the time, that’s either at my house, a close friend’s house, or an AirBNB with a trusted trip buddy. I want to feel at home, peaceful and relaxed. I also want to make sure my environment is clean, clutter-free, and overall just PLEASANT.
    • I only recommend taking acid in a public place (like, say, a music festival, or a public park) as a seasoned taker. I can feel weird around other people because I just know they’re not on the same “plane of existence” as me when I’m on it, if that makes sense. As in, when I’m on acid, I’m processing my thoughts differently. It can be an uncomfortable feeling when I’m around other people who aren’t on it. I feel like an alien. I do have enough of a grip on myself to be fine with that, but I just prefer to not.
      • I make my environment super duper vibe-y. For me, what that looks like is:

 

        • Pre-stocking the fridge with fresh fruit (I don’t usually want to eat when I’m on acid, but in my experience, when I do, it’s SWEET food). Yes, candy tastes FANTASTIC on it, but as a healthy person, fruit like crisp grapes, strawberries and other berries are SO GOOD.

 

        • Having fun activities to do. Video games are SO fun. Coloring books. Board games (ones that don’t require much strategic thinking). Puzzles. Netflix.

 

        • Music! I love to hook my phone up to a Bluetooth speaker with my favorite music. Jazz and trippy electronic is pretty cool for this excursion.

 

        • I LOVE having piles of comfy stuff to just roll around on (I’m a cuddle bug by nature and like to be cozy, so this is my JAM). Stuff like lots of fuzzy blankets to lay out on on the floor, big squishy pillows, etc. I am known to literally make pillow/blanket forts in this state.

 

        • Lighting! I prefer to do acid at night. It’s just…vibier, is the best way I can describe it. I have a galaxy star projector light and a few other colorful lights I love to turn on for my trip.

 

  • Make sure nobody is going to be coming over other than the people who are joining me for my trip, who are always close, trusted friends. If I want to make it a group thing, I always make sure I have a chill crew of people who are on the same wavelength for this kind of endeavor.

 

  • UNPLUG. Phone goes on airplane mode ALL day (in my experience, too, when I even try to look at my phone when I’m on psychedelics, I’m repulsed by how tethered I am to reality and don’t even WANT to be on it. LOL). I swear this is my subconscious talking to me. The idea with acid is to COMPLETELY let go and be present in the moment.

 

  • Wear a cozy ‘fit. Catch me in a giant t-shirt and/or hoodie, leggings, socks and…that’s it! I ALWAYS want to be as comfy as possible.

 

  • Clear out my schedule. On a trip day, I am completely unplugged, with absolutely nowhere to go and no responsibilities for that day, or the next (if I’m doing it at night).

 

  • If I’m with friends who have done it many times before and CAN handle their shit if, let’s say, god forbid there’s an emergency, then I’m good to do it with just all of you. When, however, I was brand new to acid, and the people I was with were, too, I would always get a sober friend to come hang for the day to be the grounding force among everyone.

 

  • Deal with anything going on in my life. If I have something that’s pissing me off, or I’m sad…if I’m feeling anything other than GOOD, I make sure to deal with whatever’s bugging me head on and sort through it. Often, I do this DURING a trip. Something to always remember that I keep in mind is that whatever is in me, if I’m burying anything, it WILL come up. So I’m ALWAYS mindful of that. And that’s NOT a bad thing, but it’s something that’s important to keep in mind. But, once I sort through it, no matter what that looks like, it always feels like a massive weight has been lifted off me. Like I can breathe again. Processing my bullshit is SO freeing.

 

  • Stay hydrated all day. No alcohol. No caffeine. Just good ol’ H2O and sparkling water.

Here’s a play-by-play of what a typical trip looks like for me:

  • Eat it. I usually have it in gel form, which is a tiny gel square that I put in my mouth and let dissolve on my tongue. I’ve also had it on dried mango, a paper square and a gummy candy. It comes in many forms.

 

  • Wait. I like to distract myself and wait for it to suddenly kick in. Usually that means I’m playing happy video games or watching a movie (colorful animated movies are the BEST). It usually takes 30 minutes or so to start feeling it.

 

  • I can tell when it’s kicking it because I start to get that butterfly sensation in my stomach. Like what happens when I’m excited…or drink coffee. TBH it kinda feels like both at the same time.

 

    • I can also tell when it’s kicking in because everything becomes fucking hilarious. I just start laughing at EVERYTHING. Like, I can control myself, and I’m in my right frame of mind, but I just THINK differently. It’s like as a kid when I used to play video games with my friends and just acted silly and giggled and had fun. Same vibes.

 

    • I LOVE playing video games and watching happy animated movies on it because the colors are REALLY cool to look at, and in this mind frame, I’m just in the moment, enjoying life, and happy. So of course, I want to play and do happy things.

 

  • I feel a general sense of warm fuzziness, well being, and bliss. The vibe I feel is just enjoying life fully in the moment, not worrying about anything, or thinking about anything. Just BEING. Every time I trip, I ALWAYS re-realize that I create problems for myself, often become too serious about things, and that anything I’m going through that’s bothersome to me isn’t actually THAT big of a deal – it’s all solvable!

 

  • Colors look REALLY cool. That’s why I love to watch bright, fun, animated, happy movies and play happy video games.

 

  • I have a general sense of awe, curiosity and appreciation for my life and all that is around me. Childlike, really. Everything is just beautiful. I ALWAYS re-realize just how good I actually do have it when I trip. This make me appreciative of all that I have already, rather than wanting more, more, more.

 

  • I’m personally a really big beauty and aesthetics person (as in, I love my environment to be really aesthetically pleasing because that’s what pleases me) so sometimes when I trip, I’ll end up redecorating my house (LMAO). It’s like I just happen to notice where certain pieces don’t work well together, or where a decorative fixture would look better in a different room. That kind of thing. It’s like a surge of creativity just rushes me.

 

My trips always last around 8 hours. Being the early bird that I am, if I’m taking it at night, I’ll take it at around 4PM so it tapers off at a decent hour so I can go to sleep after and not fuck up my sleep schedule. I’ve taken it too late a few times and ended up staying up all night, which I try to avoid.

The effects I shared are stronger at first, and then come in waves, eventually slowing down and tapering off. I remember the first time I ever took it, waking up the next day and just having a brand new sense of understanding of life and wisdom surrounding my existence…what I’m here to do and what makes me genuinely happy, as well as a newly-found confidence in myself and my what I’m truly capable of. It was a beautiful experience that I’ll never forget.

And, no hangover! As long as I get a good night’s sleep, I wake up the next day feeling blissful, recharged, refreshed and creative AF.

Just like shrooms, before trying LSD for the first time, I was under the impression that it would make me hallucinate and see shit that wasn’t there, and completely lose myself. None of which was the case. I’m always well aware of exactly what’s going on and can handle myself just fine. I just think differently, is all. My perspective changes.

It’s an incredibly consciousness-expanding experience that I will keep revisiting for the rest of my life.

 

xo, alix

Filed in: REAL TALK, STORIES | By xoalynx | Leave a Comment

February 12, 2021

My Experience With: Shrooms

 

 

I’m going to start this post off by saying that I am by no means condoning the use of drugs. And I am by no means any sort of doctor, therapist, etc. (I just play one on the small screen) 😉 I am simply creating this series/post with the intention of sharing my REAL LIFE experiences with you, no holds barred. You can take the info that I’m sharing here and do with it what you would like.

Or do nothing with it at all.

So, that said…yes. Shrooms. A favorite pastime of mine. A complete life-changer. Something that I didn’t even get into until my late 20’s, which many would consider to be a “late bloomer.” Growing up, this stuff wasn’t even on my radar. Nobody around me in the little country town I grew up in did anything aside from drink…a lot. And, on top of that, drug education in school made me petrified to even think about dabbling in any mind-altering substance, aside from alcohol and weed here and there.

Looking back, I’m GLAD I waited until later in life, because I started at a point in my life where I would be able to take them intentionally and mindfully, vs. just taking them to get fucked up, which is absofuckinglutely not my jam.

I’ve microdosed hundreds of times, and full-on tripped dozens of times. So I’m rather well-versed in the matter. 😉

The best way I can explain the effect shrooms have is to think of your brain like a computer. You have a fuckload of tabs open. You probably have a virus or three. You have ads popping up incessantly. In other words, lots of mental chatter, anxieties, worries, etc. that rarely, if ever, shut off.

A day spent on shrooms is like running a virus program on your computer that wipes out all the chatter. Like clearing the cache and completely rebooting the system, starting anew the next day in a refreshed, zen-like state that noticeably lasts for weeks afterwards.

Ultimately, shrooms are ego dissolvers. As in, the more I’ve done them, the more I peel back all the layers I had built up around myself over the years. Stuff like beliefs over what I am and am not capable of, who I am, what I want out of life, old stories I had been living by, etc.

Doing shrooms, for lack of a better word, was like waking up for the first time and seeing the world as it truly was, as well as MYSELF for who I truly am deep down. I like to think it’s the gateway to my subconscious mind.

And before I share my latest experience, here’s the vibe I get into BEFORE ingesting them…

  • Make sure I’m in an environment where I feel SUPER comfortable. Like, my house, or an AirBNB with my BF, or a few trusted friends who I feel REALLY comfortable around.
    • This also means making sure that, let’s say if I’m home, I know for SURE I won’t be having any visitors, like the plumber, or a relative, swinging through.
    • Make sure the environment I’m in is clean. I’m NOT going to be doing them at home if my place is a mess because the last thing I want to be doing is thinking of how much I need to clean when I’m mid-trip.
  • Make my environment vibe-y as hell. For me, that looks like a clean space with my favorite candles lit, chill electronic music playing, video games and coloring books/colored pencils out, should I choose to get into them later. I also have a star projector light that projects a galaxy onto my ceiling, and a cool rainbow reflector on my window that creates rainbows in my house 🙂
  • Wear something comfy. I’m huge on leggings and a big t-shirt or hoodie. In other words, I’m NOT trying to put on a lingerie set that feels like a corset, get all dolled up and walk around in high heels.
  • Make sure I have NOTHING to do ALL day. No commitments or obligations. NOTHING. Plan to go COMPLETELY off the grid and be unreachable for the entire day.
  • I always eat a healthy meal beforehand so I know my body will be energized with clean fuel.
    • I stock my fridge and pantry beforehand with healthy snack food…my favorite is stuff like fresh grapes, berries, cucumbers, tofu, sparkling water and popcorn.
    • Stay hydrated all day. I drink water and un-caffeinated tea throughout the day. Sometimes I’ll do one cup of coffee mid-trip for a little pick-me-up.
  • UNPLUG. I put my phone and laptop away and don’t look at either of them ALL DAY. I don’t answer calls. I don’t think about work or anything other than what’s happening in the moment.
  • I love having the option available to go outside (when I eat them, I CRAVE being out in nature). When it’s cold out, I don’t do this, but I DO enjoy looking outside at the trees surrounding me and taking it all in. When it IS nice out, I venture outside and roam around, but I only stick to areas that I know WELL and aren’t heavily trafficked. I’m personally OK to venture out to, say, a public park, if it’s a random day during the week and I know a few people might be around. The thing with shrooms is that you CAN handle yourself with other people around who are not on them, but you really don’t WANT to. It feels like you’re on a different plane of existence, so I just try to avoid any unwanted run-ins at all costs.

 

Here’s a play-by-play of what a typical trip looks and feels like for me:

  • Eat the goods. I typically do 3.5 grams for my serving. I actually like the taste (they really just taste like the earth) and eat them plain, but sometimes I’ll put them into a smoothie or on a sandwich and eat them that way. It’s really whatever I’m feeling at the time.
  • Sit. Chill. Go about life (contained in my safe environment) and wait for the magic to happen.
  • I know they’ve kicked in when I get a fluttery feeling in my stomach, like butterflies and giddiness, and everything becomes really funny and sends me into a giggle fit. I should also note here that the entire time, I’m aware of what’s going on. Like, I don’t hallucinate and see shit, which is what I thought would happen based on what I was taught about drugs. I’m of sound mind and body. I can function normally. I just THINK differently, is all.
  • I also know they’ve kicked in when I feel an immense sense of calm wash over me. The best way I can describe it is that I’m perfectly in sync with LIFE exactly as it’s happening. It’s a sense of stillness and being fully present in the NOW. Any mental chatter I had going on is gone. I’m just living life right there in the moment.
    • If I ever try to start thinking about real life shit, aka resisting the trip, that’s when I start to feel uncomfortable. It’s a sensation of clinging on to reality and not submitting to the trip. This rarely happens, but when it does, I’m aware of it and decide right then and there to just LET GO, give in, and have no resistance whatsoever. Any problems I have, worries, etc. I let melt away. They’ll be there when I return (and usually, I come back with a fresh perspective that shows me that the problems and worries were just being blown WAY out of proportion by my own mind and aren’t so big after all!)
  • At this point I’m either doing one of two things: I’m outside roaming around, or I’m chilling inside. If I’m outside, I’m super peppy and relaxed and want nothing more than to romp around and explore. Shrooms open my eyes to the fact that I’m a part of something FAR greater than me; the entire universe and collective consciousness. They always put into perspective just how small I am, and how immense this planet is, and how connected to ALL of it I am. It’s a sense of love, peace and one-ness with the world, which I fully believe IS the natural state of us as human beings, before we polluted each other with our own worries, doubts and fears we created with our own minds, AKA our egos.
    • If I’m not outside, they have a super chill effect. Like, if I’m not going to be romping around, all I want to do is sit down and marinate. My body feels loosey-goosey, kinda like the feeling after I have one cocktail. Just super relaxed. At this point I like to do stuff like play video games, watch a movie (movies with cool cinematography / animated Disney/Pixar are my jam), color or draw. Basically mindless, fun stuff.
  • This entire time I’m fully present in the moment, just LIVING life. I also have a strong sense of curiosity about everything around me, and am hyper-aware of the little things in my environment. Almost like when I was a child and everything around me was brand new. I get a sense of awe and appreciation for all that I have, which is a stark contrast from “normal life” in  day-to-day society that’s constantly bombarding us with ads for stuff to spend our money on that has us often thinking from a place of “I don’t have enough, I’m not good enough and I need more stuff” vs. the vibe of “I have everything I need already,” and appreciating what already IS.
  • If I look at stuff like my floor or wall, it looks like it’s breathing, and I can see patterns swirling in whatever it is I’m fixated on. When I’m outside, I get this tremendous sense that I’m just a small human frolicking about on this massive living, breathing organism, aka the Earth. Talk about a humbling experience.
  • If there’s anything on my mind, like a problem I know I need to solve, or something that’s making me anxious, I gently think about it. As in, I just conjure it up in my mind. I notice the thoughts I have coming in around that subject. It’s like I’m a third party, observing the inner workings of my mind from the outside, AKA giving me a fresh perspective on whatever it is that’s bugging me.
    • The VAST majority of the time (truth be told, EVERY TIME), on top of receiving the solution I need, I also realize that the issue is really not a big deal. AT. ALL. I’ve just been MAKING it a big deal in my own head. Most of the time I end up concluding that I just really need to chill out more and that everything is INDEED going to be just fine.
  • I also know that whatever’s in me is gonna come out. As in, if I’ve been suppressing ANYTHING in my subconscious, it WILL float to the surface in my mind and I will be forced to face the issue eye to eye. I personally am really good about dealing with and fixing my bullshit so this has only happened a couple times. It’s also nothing to be afraid of because ultimately you’re forced to face your inner demons, and by looking your fears in the eye, you relinquish their power and eventually they become super tiny and go away. Sure, it can be uncomfortable, but what’s more uncomfortable than living an ENTIRE LIFE of stuffing your problems away and pretending they don’t exist?! That shit will eat away at you, so I like to face my fears head on.
  • I spend the day just going with my intuition and ultimately doing exactly what I feel like doing. If I want to color, I do it. If I want to take a bath, I do it. If I want to sit and stare out the window, I do it. If I want a snack, I eat one. I do it all fully present in each moment, appreciating and enjoying every bit of it.
  • The entire adventure lasts around 6 hours, and then the effects slowly taper off. After that, I’ll have a meal, hydrate, probably have an edible, watch a light TV show and go to bed. I wake up the next day feeling BEYOND refreshed, recharged, and energized, with a fresh perspective on life. NO HANGOVER!

 

GUIDELINES I FOLLOW

  • DON’T drink alcohol when taking them. It defeats the purpose of taking them.
  • DON’T check my phone, computer, etc. COMPLETELY UNPLUG. 
  • DON’T do them and interact with other people (aside from close trusted friends) who aren’t also on them.
  • DON’T do them with people I don’t know and trust.
  • DON’T do them with a large group of people. Keep it small and intimate.
  • DO them with no intention other than to have fun and live in the moment. If I go into a trip gung-ho on solving some issue I have, that’s already trying too hard. JUST. RELAX. and the answers will naturally flow.
  • DO them outside as often as possible for maximum effect.
  • DO them around pets! They LOVE the snuggles and company, and you see and appreciate them in a really beautiful way. Like a fellow creature inhabiting the planet for just a short while with you.
  • DO them alone if I want, which I do not recommend to newbies. It’s just a different experience if I’m really seeking clarity.

 

A shroom trip is an incredibly special experience that has only elevated my sense of awareness, connectedness and overall sense of making sense of this wild ride we call life. I find that, similar to porn, psychedelics are one topic that can be heavily stigmatized and full of misinformation that ultimately makes people afraid and uncomfortable.

There’s truly nothing in the world like it. It cracks you open to a brand new realm of understanding and being. I would not be the same person I am today (for the better) had I not tried shrooms a few years ago. They will absolutely continue to be a part of my lifelong journey, and anyone who is curious about trying them, I encourage to do your due diligence, prepare properly, do it right and treat your trip with respect. If you do so, you’ll understand why there’s a reason that they’re called “magic mushrooms.” 😉

 

xo, alix

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed in: REAL TALK | By xoalynx | Leave a Comment

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