Today was ONE OF THOSE DAYS (and, like, it’s still morning here in NY) where as soon as I woke up it seemed that everyone was annoying and everything was just pissing me off. I started my day in a frenzy filming last-minute scenes I forgot to film, followed by my business partner telling me how to behave on a call we have as if I’m the world’s biggest idiot, followed by spilling water on my laptop and a lot of random shiz in between.
Just one of those days where you just want nothing more than to tell everyone to fuck off and go back to bed.
You know what I’m talking about.
I know I am Ms. Positivity/Rainbows/Unicorn Dust, but I am not immune to fuckery, either.
Fortunately, for the past couple years, I’ve been heavily invested in practicing techniques that, in situations like these, help me get re-aligned, re-focused and drop the drama and chaos I feel bubbling up in me.
Because for me, it’s either that or spend my entire day pissed off over some dumb shit that happened in a couple hours. And I’m not about to waste a day giving myself a pity party or wallowing in misery because frankly, ain’t nobody got time for that.
So as soon as I felt myself on the verge of having a fucking meltdown, this is what I did:
- Closed my laptop, put my phone down, stood up and moved to a different room to just SIT. In SILENCE.
- After a couple minutes of just sitting, breathing deliberately and letting off steam…I got out my journal. I wrote down every single thing that was pissing me off. Doing this helps me SO much because it’s like I’m physically removing the chaos from my brain and placing it onto paper.
- Re-read what I just wrote. Process each thing that was pissing me off. Try to understand exactly WHY each thing was pissing me off. Try to understand exactly WHY this person and that person behaved that way towards me, and what I’m doing that would reflect this behavior back to me in this particular way, and why each thing is so triggering to me. Basically analyze each thing that was getting under my skin from the perspective of someone reading about it on paper vs. processing it in my head. Doing this helps me understand that none of this is actually a big fucking deal and that, as per usual, most of my anxiety/annoyance/pissed off-ness was just noise coming from my brain.
- Further break down each thing that was pissing me off. For example, “Is it the ultimate truth that I need to be told how to behave on a work call as a 31-year-old woman with her shit together?” Answer: No. That was coming from someone who is anxious about this call and just wants it to go well. For example, “Is it the ultimate truth that my entire day is ruined because my morning routine was thrown off?” Answer: No. Only if I allow it to be.
- After I’ve broken down everything, I reframe my mindset. For example, having to get up at the crack of dawn to film a piece of content I had forgotten to was annoying as fuck, but instead of getting caught up in my story of, “This is annoying as FUCK!” I instead decide to reframe it as, “I appreciate that I have the opportunity to bring this particular fantasy to life. I know my fans will LOVE it! And, this is teaching me to double check my emails before I pack up from a filming session next time.” I shift each obnoxious thing that’s happening in my life so I see it from a state of appreciation, as well as see it as something that happened FOR me, to teach me something so I can learn and grow.
- Sit in silence for another couple of minutes. Breathe in and out deliberately. Envision myself letting go of the drama and releasing it from my life.
We cannot control what happens to us, but we CAN control how we react to them. That, we are in 100% control over.
These are the steps I take whenever something irks me. This is exactly how I process everything and release it, so I can remove it from my life and keep moving forward.
It works like a charm. Every. Single. Time.