xo, alix

alix lynx, unhinged

Mental Health Matters – We Can’t Do It All Alone

 

 

Mental health. I know this has been the focus of a lot of conversations, especially this past year with most of us having our lives turned upside down in some way or another. And that’s a good thing. Continuing the conversation, keeping it alive, keeping it flowing, helps others feel comfortable and safe enough to talk about it, too. 

Everything is always a ripple effect, and especially when it comes to topics that tend to have a stigma attached to it…like, MENTAL HEALTH…speaking about it helps dissolve the fear around it. Speaking about it helps NORMALIZE it. Which is exactly why I’m writing this. 

This past year was the first time in my life that I got a therapist. Before that (even though I definitely could have benefitted from one since, well, BIRTH) I just thought that a therapist wasn’t something I needed. That I was strong enough to handle life without help. That I could process all my shit by myself and be fine. 

And yes, much of that is true. I’m fully committed to a lifetime of daily personal growth and development. Daily self-improvement. Daily learning. Daily upleveling of myself and my life. I read a fuckload of self-help books. I listen to podcasts. I journal. I work with business coaches. I do more non traditional shit like psychedelics. I’m spiritual AF and believe in a higher power, which I believe guides me through my day to day. Needless to say I do a LOT for myself to make sure I’m actively being the best version of me I can possibly be, and contributing to the world every day in the best way that I can. 

I consider myself to be a really, really strong person. I’ve been through a LOT in my life. I’ve dealt with a lot of scary stuff and bullshit and come out the other side of it all strong as fuck. 

But even though that’s true, 2020 opened my eyes. A LOT. To the fact that not only is it OK to seek help, but we SHOULD seek help. Even if we don’t think we need it. 

To me, now, seeing my therapist is like any other doctor appointment. I stay on top of my teeth cleanings. I stay on top of my checkups. I stay on top of my eye exams. Why the fuck would I neglect my MENTAL HEALTH?! 

I mean, the state of my inner being…the state of my mental state…is what’s guiding me through day to day life. 

When my mental health is clogged up with stress, anxiety, and overall chaos that builds up from all the different circumstances that life throws at me…at all of us…I cannot possibly expect to make THE BEST decisions for myself from this space. 

I cannot possibly just “leave my problems at the door” because they’re STILL there when I leave. 

I cannot possibly just “brush things off” (which is what I used to do, without processing them) and expect that by doing so, my problems will magically disappear. It’s like putting a Band-Aid on a cut that keeps coming back no matter what…until I do the work to discover what’s creating that cut in the first place. 

I decided to get a therapist in 2020 because not only did I want to be able to unpack all my goings-on in a safe environment, but I also wanted to do so with a trained professional involved who could give me unbiased insight, as well as the tools and resources necessary to process them. 

Of course, talking it out with friends helps, too, but I also didn’t want to be unloading all my issues onto the same handful of people all the time. 

While I did part ways with my original therapist from last year, I just found a new one who I really like and who I’m going to keep around for the foreseeable future. I just think it’s really, really important to have help when it comes to unpacking and processing whatever it is that’s happening in my life, working through it, and moving forward. 

I truly believe that EVERYONE can benefit from therapy. I no longer believe that therapy is for people with “big problems.” I mean, who am I to say what’s a big problem and what’s not, anyways? We all live different lives. What one person might consider a “big problem,” the next person might find it to be trivial. And it’s ALL OKAY. We are ALL on different paths. We are ALL experiencing life at a different pace, through different lenses of experience and worldviews. 

Therapy has already helped me SO much, and I look forward to spending a lifetime maintaining my mental health by consistently showing up for myself at my appointments and doing the work. Just like going to my physician’s, dentist, (or hell, even my Botox!) I am making my therapy sessions just as important. And normal. 

P.S. If you’re thinking about seeing a therapist, I currently use Better Help. I love this app because it matches you with the best therapist for you and what you need help with, and gives you a bunch of different ways to communicate, whether it’s via text, phone or video chat. It’s been a game changer for me <3 

xo, alix 

Preventative Sh*t I Started In my 20’s to Be Healthy and Hot for Life

 

 

If you didn’t already know this by now, I am slightly (OK, extremely) obsessive about all things health, wellness and beauty. My entire vibe is to look and feel my best for my entire life from the inside out. I want to live a LONG, healthy life without any weird health issues to have to deal with later on. I want to have enough energy to do travel, create my best work, and do cool shit forever.

I also want to look hot as fuck while doing so.

We’re all entitled to live our lives exactly as we want to, and this is how I wanna live mine.

And all that said, I am also a HUGE proponent of habit-making, and starting early. You are a product of your habits. If you eat junk food every day, even if you don’t physically see the effects now, your insides sure do. If you don’t give your body time to rest and recharge with a good nights’ sleep, it wears away at you. If you don’t save money, one day you’ll wake up years down the road and wonder where it all went.

It’s the little day-to-day habits done consistently that create the most change for us in the long haul. So it’s crucial to be super mindful of what you’re doing and whether or not they’re contributing to the best life for yourself that you want to create, and the best version of yourself that you want to be. I say all this from a place of having been on the other side…sleepless nights, drinking too much, being late on paying my bills…and finally saying “Fuck this shit” and transforming my not-so-good habits into great ones. And hell, I’m still a work in progress! We all are!

When it comes to health, wellness and beauty, here’s the preventative sh*t I started in my 20’s that have me looking and feeling energized, happy and hot in my 30’s.

  • Lifting weights/daily movement. Like many other women, for the longest time I was under the impression that lifting weights would make me bulky, so I would spend an hour on the elliptical 6 days a week instead. (Just thinking about that now gives me MASSIVE anxiety)! I finally started getting serious about it when I was 21, and, much to my surprise, I found myself losing fat and building muscle…but I was NOT bulky. Instead, I was just toned AF. As a woman, you can’t bulk up easily because you don’t have enough testosterone in your body to do so.  So unless you’re lifting for hours a day AND eating a fuckload of calories a day, it just won’t happen. Lifting helped me build muscle mass which ultimately meant I could eat MORE and work out LESS. Nowadays I lift 20ish minutes a day 3-4 days a week and do HIIT cardio 5 days a week (and walk the other 2). My body is now a fat burning machine. Our bodies aren’t MEANT to be sitting down all day. We’re MEANT to move them. I wear a pedometer and aim for bare minimum of 10,000 steps per day on top of my workout routine.
  • Daily SPF. I am the QUEEN of being petrified of getting wrinkly. I always tell my friends that I’m going to look like Jane Fonda when I’m in my 80’s, and I absolutely mean it. It is what it is and I am who I am. That said, I don’t DO sun. I haven’t had a real sun tan in like ten years. Me at the beach means I’m slathered in SPF 50 head to toe wearing UV protectant sunglasses, a coverup, a big hat and carrying a sun umbrella. Plus, I also don’t wanna get motherfucking skin cancer. So even on days where it’s snowing and it’s cloudy, I’m STILL wearing SPF. Even when you’re out driving, UV rays can penetrate your skin and cause damage. All that said, I wear SPF 30 moisturizer on my face, ears, neck and hands EVERY DAY, all year round. When it’s hot out and I’m in less clothing, I am SLATHERED head to toe. My makeup also has SPF in it, too.
  • Skincare routine. Your skin is just one giant organ that you wear on the outside of your body (weird af, right?!) Getting into the habit of a solid skincare routine in my 20’s has set me up for a lifetime of glowing, healthy skin. I am ALWAYS tweaking my routine, too (which I’ll share soon in a separate post because there’s a LOT) and trying out different products, tools and med spa services. Some VERY surface level key pointers when it comes to skincare:
    • Eating clean, drinking a ton of water, little alcohol, exercise and sleep make up for a large chunk of how fabulous (or not) your skin looks. It wasn’t until I got REALLY serious about all of the above that my skin became ridiculously clear, plump and glow-y on its own.
    • Daily moisturizer. Keep your skin as hydrated as you keep your body. I LOVE to just slather my skin in squalane oil or rosehip oil and let it sink in before I apply my daily SPF that I mentioned above. I also ALWAYS use an eye cream that I gently dab on – your eye area is one of the first places to show signs of aging, and the skin is super delicate.
    • I always wash my makeup off before bed – NEVER sleep with makeup on!
    • I go to bed looking like a glazed donut, slathered in oil + eye cream.
  • Clean eating and staying hydrated. I eat a whole foods, plant-based diet, which basically means that 95% of the time, I only eat real foods that come from the earth (as opposed to shit like chips, candy, etc). I eat a TON of vegetables every day, at least one serving of fruit, protein at every meal, and get 1-2 servings of healthy fats in, too. I have a steady energy level and never feel sluggish from food. I rarely eat junk food and I rarely drink alcohol, and never drink soda or any other sugary drinks. Aside from fruit, I stay away from sugar the vast majority of the time. It’s really, really bad for you. I also drink a TON of water all day in the form of not just water (with lemon) but hot brewed tea and sparkling water, too. I spend the extra money on super clean, organic food because for me, it’s either that or spending a lot more money on health-related issues later on in life that I can fully prevent right now.
  • Staying on top of my doctor’s appointments. Is it a drag to go to the doctor’s? Sure. I don’t LOVE interrupting my day to trek to the dentist or to go to my dermatologist appointment, but it’s far better to stay on top of this shit now instead of having to deal with some wild illness or surprise cavity later in life because I neglected my health. I book my appointments, I suck it up, and I show up. I’m grateful I HAVE the opportunity to be able to do this!
  • Botox and filler. This shit is of course a personal choice, but for someone like me who likes to maintain a youthful appearance for…ever….this stuff is just as crucial for me as all of the above. I started getting preventative Botox at 22 when I saw my first tiny wrinkle. I have filler all up in my face (lips, nasolabial folds, cheeks, undereyes). I’ll be doing this forever.
  • Stretching. The name of my game is that we only get this one body to carry us through life, so we better make damn sure we take care of it. Just like daily movement and lifting, stretching is super important. If you don’t use it, you lose it! I like to snack on an edible in the evening after work, turn my brain off and just melt into stretches while I watch a show on TV. And it feels sooooo good. Your elderly self will thank you for starting this now.
  • Sleep. I remember being 20, going out to a wild rager till 3am, then springing out of bed the next day to get to my shift at the convenience store at 6am and being fine to function. Now? F THAT. I am SO snobby about my sleep. When you sleep, your brain literally cleans itself out. Your body heals itself. It’s like charging your batteries. I do my best to get at least 8 hours every night and it’s a whole thing. I use aromatherapy spray, silk pillowcases and eye mask, and keep it as dark and cool in my room as possible. Like a cave. Needless to say, I do NOT play the “Team No Sleep” game. Gross. Catch me on “Team Well Rested” for life.

 

Like any other new habit you decide to take on, it takes time to MAKE it a habit. Commit one day at a time. The way I see it? Show up for yourself and put in the effort NOW – not only does this all eventually become second nature (I get MASSIVE anxiety if I skip a workout for more than a couple days, for example), but it becomes a crucial part of you. Deciding to adopt good habits NOW will save you a lot of headache in the future. You got this. 

 

xo, alix