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February 15, 2022

This is What I Would Tell Any Woman Looking to Get Into Adult Work

 

 

First off, let me preface this by assuming that by reading this, you are at least 18 years old. If you’re not, stop what you’re doing and exit out of this post. And if you are at least 18, keep on reading.

I’ve been in the adult entertainment business since 2012, where I started off as a webcam model and started doing full-on scenes in 2014. Looking back, I was really flying by the seat of my pants and figuring things out along the way, one day and one step at a time. My entire career has been this way, and I’ve not only had a fuckload of real-life, firsthand experience in the ‘biz, but I’ve also been fortunate enough to receive some incredibly kickass advice from industry veterans who believe in paying it forward just as much as I do.

Because when you get into the business (when I say “business” here, I’m primarily speaking to women who want to be an adult film star, and/or want to be an Onlyfans/fan site model producing adult content)…nobody tells you anything. Like, you will learn along the way. If you ask enough of the right people, you’ll gather a ton of valuable wisdom, tools and tips to take with you throughout your career. But it still shocks the hell out of me when I chat with random ladies online and hear stuff like, “I just want to make quick money online and not have anybody find out,” or “Onlyfans is easy money, all I have to do is get naked and people will pay big”…etc. (Neither of these are generally true, P.S.).

Here’s my best advice for women who are seriously considering getting into the adult entertainment industry. I’m neither advocating for it, nor am I telling you not to do it. Take this info and do with it what you will. Because the way I see it? Knowledge is power and it’s always best to be as informed as possible, especially before making such a big life-changing decision. 

  • Everyone you know will find out. Literally everyone. You know why? Because most people watch porn, regardless of how prudish they may seem in real life. Trust me, most people are fucking freaks in one way or another behind closed doors. It’s human nature! In 2020, Pornhub reported the site got 130 million hits PER DAY. Your family. Your friends. Your elementary school teacher. Your old soccer coach. Your coworkers from that fast food place you worked at in high school. In the Information Age, aka the world we’re living in right now where everyone and their great grandmothers are using the internet, it’s never a matter of if these people will find out, but when. Plan accordingly. 

 

  • Your entire life will be affected forever. Now, this isn’t a bad thing or a good thing. It just is. It’s 2022. Lots of people have sex tapes. Lots of people have Onlyfans. I personally think people are more open minded now when it comes to sex than ever before. Like, helloooo…it’s the reason why we all exist. You gotta pause and think about what you want your life to look like in 5, 10, 15 years from now. If you plan on doing porn and then being a school teacher, it’s not going to happen. If, however, you plan on doing adult work, stacking your cash, investing it, opening businesses, having rental properties, etc…basically taking full control over your future, that’s a completely different story.

 

  • There is stigma. The funny thing about this is, people in the adult industry are, for the most part, pretty fucking great. They’re open minded, non judgmental, secure with themselves, and are just overall cool humans. The stigma and weird judgy-ness doesn’t come from this crowd. It comes from other people (“civilians,” as performers call people who aren’t in the industry). People who have weird ass, convoluted views on sex and sexuality. People who grow up in environments that say sex is bad and carry that baggage with them through adulthood. People who are insecure over empowered women making a living off of the body they were born with while they slave away at a shitty desk job they hate. The list goes on. That said, while stigma does exist, it really depends who you’re involved with. Personally, I don’t fuck with anyone who’s weird and judgy like this. And if I happen to encounter it in my life, I don’t take it personally, because I know that other people’s opinions on this matter are not only usually false (so many people think porn sets are coke-fueled orgies when they’re wildly mundane and professional), but also come from their own limiting beliefs they’re projecting outwards that have literally nothing to do with me.

 

  • You have to treat it like a business. Assuming you’re going into this to be a model and earn a living vs. exploring your exhibitionist side as a fun hobby, it’s crucial that you treat it as a business. That means that not only are you a model, but you’re also a business owner. That means you have to learn the ins and outs of what it means to own and operate your own business. Everything from creating a corporation to keeping your financials organized to filing your taxes to marketing…it’s on you. I strongly suggest you put in the work early on and learn the ins and outs of each aspect of your business before hiring people to help you (aside from an accountant, and even then, you still need to pay attention to what they’re doing) so you’re not blindly trusting other people with your livelihood. This is also a good idea so that you can eventually train people in the systems you like best, because when you get busy with stuff like creating content and engaging with fans on fan sites, it’s nearly impossible to do everything yourself…and is also a recipe for burnout. For example, I have a virtual assistant who helps me keep track of my clothing auction site to make sure items are always being relisted, new items are being uploaded, letting me know when an order has been placed that I need to ship out, etc.

 

  • It’s work. Just like literally any other job, no matter how much you love it, there will absolutely be some days where you just don’t feel like getting up and filming. You have to be disciplined enough to be able to keep promises to yourself and show up for yourself (and your fans) every single day, and do what needs to be done…whether that’s custom content, filming new content, engaging with fans, etc. I still create and follow my own schedule years later, and always will. Holding yourself accountable will always be crucial.

 

  • It can get expensive. While there is good money to be made, it takes time to get there when you’re in the building process. You’ll need money for stuff like the fees to create a corporation, have cash flow so you can pay yourself – and your taxes – properly, wardrobe, testing (if you’re working with other talent), lighting, travel (if you’re collaborating with other talent who don’t live in your area), etc.

 

  • Create as many streams of income for yourself as possible. Whether you want to be an adult entertainer for your entire life, or have a plan to get in and get out in 3 years…whatever…it’s really fucking smart to take advantage of any and all money-making opportunities that align with you that you can create for yourself (literally just like any other business) so that you’re not just relying on one stream of income. This could include stuff like creating clip stores on sites like Manyvids ,  I Want Clips, and/or Modelhub. It could include offering your fans the option to purchase custom content from you on the above sites, or by sending you a tip on Onlyfans. It could include selling your special lingerie you wear in your scenes on a site like My Sexy Auctions. It could mean offering your fans to chat with you via phone or video call on Sext Panther.  It could mean creating a merch store. The sky is truly the limit here, but my point in all of this is that you absofuckinglutely need to have more than just one source of income coming in if you want to be able to make money off of your name while you sleep.

 

  • Mindset is everything. As an adult entertainer, you’re not only a business woman, but you’re also an artist. The lifestyle can be weird, especially if it’s not something you’re used to. It can also be incredibly lonely if you’re not living in a place like LA which is a super artist-friendly city. Stay in touch with your friends. Make new connections with other ladies in the industry and make a space for yourself in the community. Don’t compare yourself to other women in the industry. Ignore trolls and block them, letting their comments slide right off of you. Don’t let the weird opinions of other people on your life and your work get to you, because remember, they’re based off of their own world views and life experiences and have little to do with you. Live your life in real life, not just online. Practice self care.

 

  • Stack your fucking cash. Most women I know in the industry who are still around today have gone through this phase. I sure did! You’re suddenly making more money than you’ve ever seen in your life. It can be really fucking tempting to go spend it all in one fell swoop. While I am fully on board with treating yourself (Lord KNOWS I am extra as they come)…it’s all about balance, baby! I’ve been aggressively saving and investing the past few years and let me tell you, nothing is more satisfying, empowering, and SEX to me than logging on to my bank account and investment accounts and seeing those numbers grow and grow and grow. There are few greater feelings to me than being able to pay hefty bills without getting anxiety over not having enough money left until the next pay day. BIG BANK ACCOUNTS ARE FUCKING HOT. So is learning how to properly manage your money. Put in the work. Read financial books (I HIGHLY recommend anything by Robert Kiyosaki). Read magazines like Kiplingers. Listen to financial podcasts. I took a life-changing money course that completely changed my beliefs and views on money, taught by a super cool chick who just gets my vibe. This seems super boring at first, but remember…I’m a fake titty blonde chick who loves Sephora, Starbucks, spray tans, false lashes and pink. If I can fucking handle it, so can you. The worst thing you can do is blindly give your money to someone else to manage. That’s the lazy way out. Boss ass bitches do the work and stack their cash.

 

I LOVE sharing my own insight and resources for other ladies in the business to use. Was this helpful for you? What more do you want to learn from me? Comment this post with your questions, suggestions, etc.

 

xo, alix

 

Filed in: BUSINESS, DIRTY DETAILS | By xoalynx | 1 Comment

May 28, 2020

Dirty Details: A Day in My Life

 

7:00AM: Wake up. Chug water that’s on my nightstand. 

7:05AM: Make coffee. I’m currently obsessed with this bananas foster k-cup flavor one I found online (just add unsweetened vanilla almond milk + cinnamon)!

7:08AM: Savor coffee slowly while I journal. Every morning I write out whatever’s on my brain as well as a gratitude list. It helps keep me clearheaded, anxiety-free and positive. 

7:20AM: I’m out the door for a power walk/jog. I always listen to a podcast while I’m moving. 

7:50AM: Come back and make breakfast (what I like to call my “power bowl”): steel cut oats, 1 scoop of vegan vanilla protein powder, a handful of goji berries, a handful of fresh berries (lately I’ve been obsessed with blackberries), a spoonful of green superfood powder, a spoonful of chia seeds, a cup of unsweetened vanilla almond milk and a dash of cinnamon. YUM.

I eat my breakfast while listening to a podcast or reading a book on my Kindle. 

8:15AM: Shower and get ready for the day. If I’m filming or taking photos it takes me up to 1.5 hours to get ready.

If it’s a day I’m working on my laptop, it’s all of 20 minutes. 🙂

8:45AM: Meditate! I do a 5-10 minute meditation every single morning. It sets the tone for my entire day (think: calm, zen, present). If I DON’T meditate, I’m a mess.

My brain is all scrambled with all the random thoughts running through it and I feel chaotic all day. 

8:55AM: Crack open a can of sugar-free ginger lemon kombucha and check my emails. Then I prep for my live streams which I do nearly every morning, most often on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. 

9:25AM: I do each live stream and talk about whatever’s on my mind that can help people. Lately I’ve been chatting a lot about my morning routine, how I deal with anxiety, how I stay organized, etc.

Especially now during this weird time it’s super important for me to be there for my fans in more ways than just being an entertainer. 

9:50AM: I post on my socials. This is usually Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. It takes time to carefully edit each photo/video and craft each message.

There’s a rhyme and reason to every single thing I create and share.  I also DM with my Onlyfans members. 

10:20AM: I contact my management/PR team to see what’s new and go over new ideas, strategy, etc. It truly takes a village to grow and build a brand and business(es).

I’m back and forth in touch with them throughout the day as well. It’s important to stay communicating and transparent, always!

10:50AM: Time to tackle the to-do list. I have a list with 3-4 big tasks that need to be done, and then a handful of less crucial but still necessary ones that have more flexibility to work on throughout the week. I always pick my most difficult task to do first because once that’s out of the way, the rest of the day is a CAKE WALK.

I also delegate as much as I can so I don’t have to do anything boring, mundane or uninteresting as much as I can help it. 

10:51AM: Today’s first order of business: Get my eBook made. This is first of many, and it’s also my first-ever (you’ll see soon)! There’s writing it, then plotting how I want it to look/the overall vibe I want, finding the right person online to create it, and communicating that with them.

Needless to say, it’s a lot of back and forth. 

11:50AM: I eat a vegan gingersnap protein bar and continue listening to a podcast. 

12:00PM: Next up on the to-do list! Today I’m posting a new video to Youtube and IGTV. I get all the thumbnails together, content and descriptions in order and post and share the video across all my socials. 

12:30PM: I’ve got 2 blog posts on my agenda today, so I’m back to writing. Each blog post also needs a couple graphics, so I’m doing that, too (for now)!

 

 

3:20PM: Have a mixed veggie salad and a handful of mixed nuts. 

3:30PM: Meet with my business manager to go over strategy and crunch numbers. 

4:30PM: Meet with my brother/business partner for Fancy Monster to go over strategy for our next few song releases. We also shoot the shit for a bit because, ya know, it’s family. 

5:15PM: Update and organize my content calendar + footage for Onlyfans. 

6:15PM: Get up and go take a walk while listening to a podcast. 

6:40PM: Browse for new graphic designers as map out merch / merch store ideas (this is next in line)! At some point too I DM with my Onlyfans members and send out new content. 

7:15PM: Dinner time!

7:50PM: Do journal prompts from my business coach’s training course and reflect on what I can do to make my life easier, how I can make more money, how I can automate and delegate more, etc. I’m always trying to improve. 

8:10PM: Make my to-do list for the next day and order it by importance. 

8:30PM: Brain = OFF for the day. I unplug by watching Hulu (right now I’m OBSESSED with The Bold Type), Pinterest-ing, and/or reading a book on my Kindle. 

10:15PM: BEDTIME! I listen to meditation music while I sleep. 

Filed in: DIRTY DETAILS, REAL TALK | By xoalynx | Leave a Comment

April 30, 2020

Dirty Details: Plastic Surgery and What You Need to Know

XO ALIX PLASTIC SURGERY DONE GRAPHIC

 

Let’s just cut to the chase, shall we?

 

I LOVE plastic surgery.

Big fan. BIG BIG FAN. 

I wanna scream it from the rooftops.

Maybe I will if I indulge in a glass of champagne later. 

Anyways. I said it. We are all clear.

If anyone is offended by this, please leave.

We’re getting dirty in the details. No holds barred. For those who are still with me, read on. 

Short and sweet and to the point, I think plastic surgery is a god damn gift to the world and the fact that we are able to have the freedom to choose EXACTLY how we want to look is, too.

I think everyone who is an adult and a contributing member to society should be able to have the right to DECIDE how they want to express themselves, physically.

The right to DECIDE to match how they feel on the inside with the proper gear on the outside. Ya know?

Like, we only live once. Life is short. Why the fuck would you go through your entire life self-conscious and hyper-fixated on a physical “flaw” that you see in yourself when you can just nip and tuck it and be on your merry way? 

Let me make something very clear. Plastic surgery is not trivial. It’s not shameful. It’s not shallow. 

It’s freedom of choice to live your life how you want to live, being and feeling your absolute best. 

For some people, they were just born looking how they want to look and don’t want to change a damn thing. Wonderful!

For some people, physical characteristics truly don’t matter so much. That’s just fine. 

The way I view LIFE as a generality is “Live yours exactly how you want to as long as you’re not hurting anyone.” 

…And then for others, like myself, physical traits DO matter. Looking a certain way IS important. It is what it is.

I just don’t feel like I’m my best self when I, for example, am not wearing my hair extensions. Or haven’t worn makeup in 3 days. Or am wearing baggy sweatpants. When I feel my best, looks included, I AM my best. In life. In relationships. In business. In my day to day. This is a reality for me. 

It’s an extremely personal choice and is not a one-size-fits-all ordeal. 

It should also be well thought-over, properly researched and planned for, and all in all, not be taken lightly. It’s a big fucking deal and one you can’t really take back (unless you get implants).

I’ve had a lot of work done, and I will have a lot more work done in my lifetime. 

For me, going under the knife (for the first time) was to make my nose smaller. I had always found it too big for my face and also broke it jumping on a trampoline in middle school, so it was all crooked and a mess.

I was super self-conscious about it and just didn’t feel pretty. It bothered me so much that I had elective surgery, and now here we are.

I waited until I was out of college, working and living away on my own which made it way easier to go through with it being far away from those who protested my decision (like some family members).

It was a huge decision. It was also a huge purchase.

But as soon as I booked the surgery, it felt like a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders. In that moment I knew I had made the right choice. Same went for after I came out of surgery. Even through all the bandages I could tell the new shape and size was exactly what I had been wanting.

BEST DECISION EVER BTW. My brother recently found a photo of me with my old nose and set it as his Apple Watch background to be a dingus because it’s just SO bad. Like, I love myself and all but it was just not fitting for my face whatsoever.

One day I’ll unearth it for you so you can see. Eventually. 😉

The second time, it was for new tits. I was a small B cup and have always stored my weight in my thighs so I felt like I looked unbalanced. So I got me a pair of saline implants. And then BOOM! The new titties gave me a more voluptuous, feminine look that I wanted to have.

I’m now on pair #2 because pair #1 started doing some funky migrating – fake tits are always a gamble!

BUT THAT ASIDE…and ALL IN ALL….

I am beyond thrilled I went through with my decision to have work done. 

If you’re considering having a nip/tuck, you should BE REALLY EXCITED BECAUSE THIS IS A REALLY EXCITING TIME!

But there’s also things you should know before you dive in. In fact, there is NO diving in when it comes to having work done. It’s all about those baby steps, one pinky toe at a time, into the kiddie pool. 

 

 

1. DON’T BE CHEAP.

There are lots of other areas of your life you can get away with by being cheap. Like me wearing this adorable ribbed crop polo shirt from Forever 21. You would never guess. You do not, however, EVER want to be cheap when it comes to your body.

It’s like, a pretty important and fragile and one of a kind entity that can never be replaced.

You deserve the best.

Make sure your surgeon is licensed by the American Board of Plastic Surgery, has an absolute FUCK TON of STELLAR REVIEWS, and an absolute FUCK TON of STELLAR BEFORE AND AFTER PHOTOS.

Stalk the hell out of them on social media.

If they don’t have social media, run. It’s not acceptable for someone in the line of COSMETIC WORK in 2020 to not have an Instagram!

MAJOR bonus points if you have a friend who’s been to this particular person and has nothing but raving reviews to share. And if you’re in the middle of nowhere, your best bet is to go to your nearest major city for a consult. 

CHOOSING SOMEONE IN CHARGE OF HACKING INTO YOUR COMATOSE BODY AND CHANGING HOW IT LOOKS IS NOT SOMETHING TO BARGAIN HUNT FOR.

EVER EVER EVER.

That’s just the beginning, when you’re narrowing it down to who you’re going to commit to. Just like dating.

So that means you gotta hold out for the best of the best.

And for me personally, I wouldn’t do anything overseas. I’d much rather have easy access to my loved ones and comforts of my own home after going through a major operation. 

 

2. IT’S AN INVESTMENT.

Yes, it’s thousands of dollars. It’s expensive. But if this is something you really, truly to your SOUL want, you have every right to spend it.

You’re investing in your confidence, satisfaction and happiness. For LIFE.

Speaking of these, also know that if you’ve got shit to sort out on the inside, it REALLY doesn’t matter how you look on the outside. Seriously.

As in, changing your appearance will NOT magically make you feel like your absolute best self if you’re not simultaneously working on BEING the best version of yourself. 

Beauty truly does start from within. The internal and the external go hand in hand. 

 

3. IT’S A WEIRD TIME. 

Especially if it’s your first time. You feel like a different person. I guess in some ways, you are a different person.

Like, when I got my nose done I literally woke up and had a different nose. My face looked different.

I loved it but it took time for me (and my loved ones) to get used to because it was, well, right on my face and the center of focus. You also feel super vulnerable. Only other people who have been through this will know the feeling, so there’s a sense of “alone-ness” that comes with it.

I took tremendous comfort in chatting with other women in online communities who had had the procedure done as well (I’m sure nowadays there are Facebook groups for this stuff. You just gotta do your research). I found, however, that after my first procedure that feeling was no longer present. It just FEELS weird once you’re out of surgery. Know that this is normal AF & it will pass! 

 

 

4. RECOVERY SUCKS ASS.

You’ll be swollen for a WHILE while your body heals. You’ll be bloated from the meds, weird diet and lack of movement.

You’ll often be cranky, sloth-like and feel like hot garbage.

Depending on the work you have done, you’ll have to sleep on your back like a mummy for a month. It may feel like someone is permanently sitting on your chest.

You may not be able to breathe out of your nose for 3 weeks.

You’ll be a couch potato for a couple days, realistically a couple weeks.

You’ll be fragile AF for a couple months afterwards and will have to ease your way SLOWLY back into the gym. On the bright side, you hopefully have a really dope significant other, bestie or roomie to wait on you hand and foot and feed you fresh smoothies with a straw.

When I got my nose done I was out of work for 2 weeks and came back with two black eyes that were there for a month. My tits, after I got them done the second time, were HUGE cantaloupes for a full year (I miss them TBH) before they settled in and got fluffier.

It takes a long time for your body to be fully back to its normal state.

 

5. DATE YOUR SURGEONS

When it comes to your surgeons, you gotta date a handful of them and marinate REAL good on it before making a commitment. Go to your consult armed with questions out the ying yang and REALISTIC expectations.

The key when it comes to cosmetic work is to making it look halfway believable. Like, “Did she? *Scratches head* Are those boobs real? Are those her natural cheekbones?”

You should still look like yourself. Just an enhanced version of yourself.

Pilfer through your surgeon’s before and after photos. If you wanna really get down and dirty, ask if they have any former patients willing to give their own personal testimonials to you. Go on Realself.com to start your surgeon search, make a list and check it thrice! Take your time to get a feel for each one and whether you’re comfortable with having them in charge over slicing you. 

 

6. BE STRATEGIC WITH TIMING. 

If you work full time and have paid vacation leave, your surgery is probably gonna be the time you’ll want to use that leave. If you’re in college, you’re gonna want to wait until the summertime. It’s SO much more pleasant to recover from surgeries when it’s warm and sunny outside. And more friends are usually around for me to badger about picking up my take out soup and smoothie combo. I ALWAYS get my work done in the summer.

Pro tip: the second-best time for cosmetic work is during the holiday season. You leave work for a couple weeks, hibernate, stuff your face, and come back with a new ass. That you bought. Nobody will ever know. Unless you want them to. MAGIC! 

If you work for yourself and there’s stuff you sure as shit can’t do when you’re recovering from surgery, start your game plan yesterday as to how you’re going to delegate the work.

I’m on the more neurotic end when it comes to planning for important shit like this so I also pre-order my groceries (healthy REAL foods = faster and easier recovery, FYI) and have my house cleaned spotless before going under the knife.

I also leave explicit written instructions for my aftercare with whatever friend is helping me with recovery because I’m always whacked out from the anesthesia and just wanna curl up on the couch in a blanket fort.

Just map out what needs to be done and let other humans who are involved know in order for your life to be easy as can be during all of this commotion. The LAST thing you wanna do during your recovery is have to be responsible for more than sleeping, binging Netflix and bathing yourself. 

“Life in plastic, it’s fantastic!” – who remembers this Aqua throwback?! – the bane of my childhood existence – anyways now this song is stuck in my head. lmao.

But for real. Plastic surgery is the tits if done with the right intentions and for nobody else but yourself.

If you have Q’s about going under the knife, hmu (I only play a doctor on TV but I am here to help)! 

xo al 

Filed in: BEAUTY, DIRTY DETAILS, REAL TALK | By xoalynx | 1 Comment

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